selvaggiamente.

2012-02-14T22:11:00.007-05:00

Color Me Badd's

"I Adore Mi Amor"
Look, it's Color Me Fugly...err...Badd.

They've got to be one of the weirdest lookin' boy bands of all time! I used to think that Bryan Abrams was sexay, but lookin' back on it now, it's just because he's shoulder-to-shoulder to these other Chernobyl victims. Yikes.

In all seriousness, I decided to go the classy route with this jam as opposed to "I Wanna Sex You Up". So I hope you appreciate my efforts!

P.S. Whether it's paid or not, I wish that I were on a tropical island RIGHT NOW!!!

2012-02-11T11:40:00.006-05:00

Milli Vanilli's

"Don't Forget My Number"
I think the car salesman "forgot" my number. I CANNOT. & WILL NOT. LOSE IN THIS GAME OF BLUFF!!!

Forget "Girl You Know It's True", this jam was the underrated MV single.

Btw, I'm not sure if it's Milli or Vanilli, but doesn't the light-skinned one look like an Olsen twin? Wait, didn't he die?

2012-02-10T00:55:00.005-05:00

Jesus Freaks

Part I
D points to pics of old, Chinese peeps on his cell phone, i.e. his parents who are older, a childhood nanny, etc.

S: Where are they? Like are they here, back home?

D points upwards.

S: In Markham?

D: No, they're all waiting for me...we're Christians.

S: Ooops, my bad!

Part II
L (Trini, religious coworker): Can I ask you a question? [pause] Are you a Christian?

S: Well, uh...I was, I used to go to church 'n all that stuff.

L looks confused and concerned.

S: Don't worry, I haven't gone that far!

S taps L on the shoulder. L chuckles.

L: Well, you identify Jesus as your Lord & Saviour?

S (sorta creeped): Yeees...

L: I can just sense it. When I hear your voice, I hear the peace of God over you.

S: Umm...okay.

2012-02-07T23:18:00.017-05:00

Car Buying = A Game of Chess

Dear Car Salesman,

Thank you for coming in on your day-off to show me the car. However, I realise you only did so 'cause you thought it was gonna be an easy sale.

You heard my voice and assumed that I, a female, was coming in by myself. HA! Does it look like I have the word "SUCKER" written on my forehead? Think again!

(Sorry women, but as much as I am for womyn power, it's an absolute MUST to show up with negotiating muscle, i.e. a man! Unless of course you enjoy being duped. In general, car salesmen hate dealing with women 'cause we ask soo many damn question and don't fall in love with all the bells 'n whistles and shiny things that go vroom-vroom.)

I realise that you "have to" charge an administration fee, but please don't tell me it's to etch all the windows in order to prevent theft...when all the windows are already etched. So you're basically trying to add another $300 for double-etching...and to file some paperwork?? Pass those papers over...

And nice try getting your other salesman buddy to ask you for the keys that I just test-drove. May I remind you that you're trying to act in front of someone who acts for a living? Besides, the car was parked in the exact same spot where I left it, so I know for a fact, there was no other interested party. A for effort though!

I'm not in a rush to buy. I don't like making rash decisions, especially when it comes to large wads of cash. I've learned not to fall in love with inanimate objects. Furthermore, I'm all for walking away from something if there's no deal to be had; after all, it is a buyer's market.

I also know that the car's been sittin' on the lot since November, but for some reason hasn't sold. Perhaps it's because the location of the dealership is outside the urban centre? SO the odds truly seem in my favour. ;)

I've given you the figure that I have in mind, so you can sit and stew. Would you rather make room for another car, increasing your potential sales, or would you rather let the car turn into a pile of unsellable rust? If you're a good salesman and relatively intelligent person, I predict the former, rather than latter.

There are two players at this game of hardball. And I'm not budging. You'll call me before week's end.

Thanks for playing,
S.

P.S. Thanks R for being my buddy back-up!

2012-02-06T23:34:00.005-05:00

Oh, TLChow I miss thee!
Thank GOD my name's not "Lisa"!

"If it's FREE, it's for me"??!! No, it ain't. It's for the garbage man!

2012-02-03T14:18:00.004-05:00

The Pointer Sisters'
"Automatic" (1984)

...more like automatic pilot.

I like being busy, but not so much so that I don't have time to write! That's bad, bad.

P.S. It's pretty amazing that they can still perform, considering that at least one of the Sisters are under the influence of some sort of illegal substance.

2012-01-27T12:46:00.004-05:00

Something I take for granted: Adult Literacy

O, a Nigerian coworker of mine found me alone and confided in me. He asked if I knew anyone/place who can teach him how to write in English. O is a very sweet man in his 30s.

O said that he didn't have a problem with his reading, but feels ashamed whenever he wants to compose a message to a friend. His spelling is very poor.

He also showed me his library card, proudly said that it was FREE, and says that he goes there whenever he has time.

O pleaded, "You won't forget, will you??" My heart broke a bit, but fear not, I had the solution! :) I assured him that I had a really good memory!

Just turns out that my bff did volunteer with a United Way-related organisation that teaches adults how to read/write! AND I just happened to be seeing her that night. So I got all the info for O and messaged him right away.

In a country based on immigration, I guess it makes sense that some of these newcomers won't know how to read/write English. Something worth thinking about!

2012-01-24T00:50:00.011-05:00

Happy Chinese New Year!:Year of the Dragon 2012
I'm a bit slow on the draw, but (apparently) it's customary to celebrate for 15 days, so not all is lost!

Car
So far, the Year of the Dragon has taken a bit of a hit. There's a lot goin' on, on various levels, and to top it all off, I've officially listed my car, so let the fun begin!

I *love* people who want to see your car, in another city, 40kms away, potential buyers who tell you that their budget is significantly lower than your asking price (so not my problem!), and rude, low-ballers...NOT!

It's sorta like a more complicated version of eBay, but with a larger amount of money, enough government red-tape to annoy the seller into considering a trade-in, and MORE contact with potential buyers. :( Too bad I cannot send a car through the Canada Post.

Horoscope
Usually, I consult a few, online sources to bring you your Chinese horoscope for this year. However, I haven't had much time, so click here to view yours from the T.O. Star.

I did ask another extra to find, bring, & translate mine to me, the next time I see her, so that should be interesting. I'm not horoscope follower, but apparently the Chinese one is supposed to be one of the more accurate ones.

Here's to hoping that how you spend New Year's Eve is NO indication of how the rest of your year will go. Happy Chinese New Year!

2012-01-13T14:21:00.004-05:00

Schticky
"Shedding pussy"?? Vince Offer, a.k.a. The ShamWow! Guy, does it again!

2012-01-13T11:01:00.016-05:00

Letters To Extras
Dear 6'2" Snowboarder-type who uses my trailer as the changeroom,

THANK YOU!!!

* * *
Dear Over-acting Extras,

Your job is to be INVISIBLE, not stick out like a sore thumb with your exaggerated facial expressions!!!

I wish I never would've noticed you guys and subsequently pointed you out to a friend of mine. Now we both have goofy looks on our faces 'cause of you. I guess it's okay 'cause we're all gonna be one big blur anyway.

Btw, it is pathetic to mention to a legit actor, a.k.a. someone who's a union member, whether or not they saw your split-second dance sequence in another film that you probably mentioned...yesterday. Insisting that you'll download it, put it on a USB for him is OTT!

This is not what I would call shameless self-promotion, but utter desperation.

* * *
Dear Fellow Chinese Peeps,

Not only have you proven yourself efficient when getting food, but you have also managed to reassert the stereotypes of being loud, rude, having little consideration, and the "take what I can get" attitude!

Just because there are leftover meatballs, it doesn't mean that you should go for a second serving, even though you're probably already full, AND spoon up a plate full. It is fuckin' embarrassing.

Please don't let one rip as though you were going head-to-head with Booger, in a burping contest, at a Frat House. Are you a teenager or slightly worse, an animal for God's sake?

And why can't you shut the trailer door behind you?? Don't you realise that it's the middle of Winter? Please have some consideration for those of us who are seated next to the door!

Since White people, e.g. other extras/the crew members who work on-set, can't really tell the difference between Chinese/Japanese/Korean, you are making us all look bad!

P.S. I'm bringing in a pair of earplugs the next time 'cause you people can't play quietly!

* * *
Dear A.D./Director/ACTRA,

It is not safe to ask us to run as if our "asses were on fire" when there are a bunch of other extras doing random crosses. In addition, we are all wearing uncomfortable army boots (that probably don't fit!), there are slow moving vehicles on-set, cables on the floor from the boom and other electrical equipment, plus the floor is wet.

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that running + electricity + water don't mix!

2012-01-10T18:34:00.010-05:00

Awakening the car enthusiast within...

Damn you, Phil Edmonston! I was counting on you to "RECOMMEND", if not rate it "ABOVE AVERAGE" or at least "AVERAGE" the car I want. :(

What the fuck do I do now? Buy a Hyundai Elantra? I realise that Korean car makers have been on the up 'n up for years now, but that's a road that I do not want to go down. Where's the detour sign??

I hope that I don't end up eating my words, but I can't shake the "cheap" imagine of these cars! As most of the AutoTrader listings that I see state, "daily rental". Besides, I do not condone corporate espionage...unless it's a sort of Robin Hood scenario!

I refuse to believe that these are my only other options:
- Toyota Yaris/Matrix/Honda Fit/Mazda2 - All ugly, especially the Yaris. Plus, it's waaay too small. I do not want to rub shoulders with my passenger! Most of the time I see a Yaris, it's being driven by a grandma!
- Honda Civic/Toyota Corolla - BORING. Besides, Civic is one of the most expensive cars to insure here in the urban parts of Southern-Ontario. Boo.
- Nothing American - By robbing Peter to pay Paul, they've tarnished their reps! Sorry guys, I can't support you or your crappy products!
- VWs - HELL 2 DA NO! Yes, body is solid, car doesn't feel as though it's gonna blow over when a transport drives by it on the highway. However, what's underneath the hood is a pile of pooh that not only breaks down, but costs an arm + leg to fix!

Currently, I'm obsessed with researching cars. In fact, I've awakened my inner, stereotypical, 20-something, Asian male. I'm a carhead.

2012-01-04T01:11:00.007-05:00

Let's eat out at the Cunnil...wait, WHAA??

Apparently, there's a restaurant named Casalinga Ristorante nearby.

(Does that mean "house of tongues" in Italian or something?)

The name itself confuses me: Should I or shouldn't I dine here? Do I eat here or do I get eaten out, and if so, by whom*? Is there a takeout menu? And lastly, is the food any good??!!

There is nothing sexy about bad food or oral. In fact, both options are sad, very sad. :( <-- See, sad face!

* Not so important for men, but sorta a concern for women. Not sure about lesbians tho', they might not care about the whom.

2012-01-03T22:21:00.007-05:00

WINdfall

Re: Buying a car that I kinda-sorta can't afford or should I say, can technically afford, but will boo hoo if/when I need repairs/maintenance.

Friend: Who knows, you may get a better job...(after you get the car)??

Me: OR maybe my grandma will finally die.

Just kiddin'. Grandma is going absolutely NOWHERE. That side of the fam has that Monty Burns-longevity gene. They may go crazy in the head, but their hearts keep tickin'.

2012-01-03T21:31:00.008-05:00

Lover/Fighter/Fighter/Lover

My Indian Coworker was telling me about the possibility of seeing his ex-girlfriend on a future trip back to his homeland. She dumped him after 5yrs and is currently engaged to be married!

(Personally, I welcome these sorts of confrontation. BRING IT THE FUCK ON! ;)

Indian's father told him that if he really "wanted" - I doubt he used the word "loved" - her back that he can secretly get them married behind her current fiancé's back. And that the fiancé couldn't do anything because Indian's dad is a lawyer. <-- That's pretty gangsta advice tho', Pops!

I'm gonna message Indian to ask if he even bothered to fight for his ex. Dumping and telling someone that you're engaged in the same breath is pretty extreme, but for the most part, lovers just want to be fought for...

2012-01-01T21:05:00.009-05:00

I guess coke's outtathe question.
Last night, shortly after I was served a potent cup of coffee*, I had a panic attack.

I felt extremely anxious, my mind was racing with a million negative (& irrational) thoughts that I couldn't silence, my heart felt like it was jumping out of my chest, & although I was exhausted, I felt restless.

It was the weirdest feeling. I now understand the psychology behind suicide, after a bad hit.

The only thing that I could link it to was a caffeine overdose. And this was confirmed via Google. All I could think of that would help me was to lie down (so I wasn't thinking), drink as much water as I can, and pee out the toxicity from my body.

If this was indeed the result of having too much caffeine, I guess I shouldn't dabble in cocaine!

* Vietnamese dark roast, approx. 2 scoops of grounds - usually, I'd just put 1T/cup, in a large mug!

2011-12-31T10:31:00.006-05:00

Taco's

"Puttin' On The Ritz" (1983)
I'm ready to bid '11 adieu!

It was a bit of a dud for me, especially the latter quarter, so I welcome any change with open arms. Mediocrity aside, the year also flew by incredibly faaast!

So here's to 2012, Happy New Year!

2011-12-27T22:45:00.020-05:00

T.I.'s

"Whatever You Like"
It's time for a new ride. I wish it were as easy as T.I. makes it out to be, and that someone would drops stacks on me, but it ain't happenin'. So 'til my T.I. shows up, I'm fendin' for myself.

Although it's all I can afford right now, I refuse to downgrade to a cheap piece of American shit! (Sorry, I only buy foreign.) I ain't jumpin' from one money pit onto another. I wanna upgrade in classy, old, but pimpy, Whitey stylez. <-- And NO, I ain't talking about no Toyota Tercel!

I personally don't blow through lotsa dough foolishly, but instead, spend shrewdly where it counts. Even if I had a million dollars, my spending habits would probably be about the same. Just less thought/worries.

It'll be tight for a while, but let's make this shit happen! *crosses fingers*

Btw, this is probably the worst lyrics/message that I've ever seen in a music video. Ever.

2011-12-21T10:55:00.006-05:00

Not this,but this =

my new fav site:
FoodPornDaily.
Having some major PMS cravings, I discovered this forn site last night, and immediately slept like a baby. :) I figured that looking was better than actually EATING after midnight.

In addition to ingenuity, I have other factors working for me to prevent me from being a complete fatty: I'm much too lazy to be a hunter 'n gatherer and I'm also not a fan of venturing out in the cold.

2011-12-20T18:34:00.016-05:00

Brandon Walker's
"Chinese Food on Christmas"
With the exception of Chinese food* (meh) and the whole Jew thing, I completely relate to this song, re: "'Cause there just ain't that much else to do on Christmas"...when you're family's fucked up.

A friend of mine whom I haven't seen in ages suggested that we get together, after the Holidays are over. In addition to, "Why wait 'til the Holidays are over?", my response was that aside from a bunch of depressing, sporadic days off, the Holidays don't mean much to someone from a broken home.

(I really should get on this whole getting married and poppin' out random kids in order to create my own new world order! Nothing fixes your own fam issues than burying 'em with a new fam.)

My parents hate each other and aren't particularly religious, so I was that kid who told the other kids at school that there was no such thing as Santa Claus. In many respects, I'm still that kid.

Note to self: Be sure to call other friend who's in the same sitch.

Note to you: Call friends who you know who are in the same sitch as me.

I realise that my posts have been a bit Jew-heavy, but hey, Hanukkah starts tonight, Happy Hanukkah!

* When I dine out, Chinese food ain't my first choice. In fact, it stresses me out, especially when I'm with non-Chinese friends 'cause after reviewing the menu, they'll always defer to me...as if I own the restaurant or something. Don't fuckin' look at me, read the description, and order whatever sounds good to you!

In terms of dim sum, I flippin' hate eating dim sum here 'cause I think it sucks and is probably previously frozen. :( If you've been back to HK, TO doesn't really compare.

2011-12-14T18:31:00.008-05:00

My ass is doingsomething weird.
Okay, not as weird as Lindsay Lohan's, 'cause I'm not White, but recently, after putting on various skinny jeans in which sorta sank in on the ass, I've had the following thoughts: Am I losing weight? Are these jeans just stretched out? And here is the scariest question of them all, is my butt flattening out?

I think I'll just stick to my jeans being stretched out.

Whatever's really happening with my ass, again, it's not as bad as what's going on in this pic above!

2011-12-14T13:17:00.006-05:00

Curb Your Enthusiasm:Jewish Lawyer
Just when I thought that it couldn't get any better, it DOES! The Social Assassin himself, Larry David's jewmour is out. of. control. in Season 8. Since I don't have HBO, I'm catching up online.

This probably explains a lot about my disposition.

I think I overshared.

Btw, there were quite a few Muslims at my Catholic High! I can't really confirm this, but they did wear the headscarf...everyday and no one kicked them out.

2011-12-14T10:45:00.011-05:00

Real Life DON'T =Porn Lesbians
I bumped into a high school classmate and although she hadn't gained a significant amount of weight, very common with people who you haven't seen in like a decade, she looked HORRIBLE.

She had absolutely no makeup on, which when you look tired, doesn't help the cause. (<-- It's amazing what a lil' YSL Touche Eclat can do!) She had dark bags under her eyes and although she had great cheekbones, her cheeks were sallow.

(Okay, maybe I was exaggerating when I said that she looked HORRIBLE. Maybe au naturale is a better description? She's just a pretty girl who wasn't maximising her potential.)

Anyway, after a friendly greeting, I asked if she had kids...as that would seriously explain her appearance.* None, with no plans of having any ankle biters, both in the near and distant future. Sounds like my kinda gal! ;)

After a bit more prodding, she just blurted out that she just got married...to a woman. Suddenly, all the puzzle pieces fell into place. It all made sense now. She's a I-don't-give-a-fuck lesbian without being the worst kind, the ones who wear their pajamas out in public. Oh the humanity!

So question, how come there's such a huge discrepancy with real-life vs. porn lesbians??

* My mother-friends have kept themselves pretty well, but I've seen some pretty bad mothers out in public who just look as though they haven't slept in days and rolled out of bed. Probably more truth than analogy!

2011-12-09T17:12:00.007-05:00

"Too broke to make meth"
...but apparently, not inside a Tulsa Walmart. Read story here.

Halfmoon is a very enterprising young lady, maybe at the end of the cooking process, she was gonna team up with Walmart and sell that shit right on-site. Meth straight outta the bottle sounds like a good high to me!

"O say can you see..."

2011-12-09T14:38:00.009-05:00

The Thompson Twins'

"If You Were Here"
(live in Liverpool)
Hey, it's Gingey Day here at stilettomurders! Eww, ick, gross.

Hair colour aside, I just wanted to thank Sixteen Candles for poisoning my mind with their false romantic notions.

According to John Hughes and the gang, the hunk that I've been crushing on, from a distance, who drives a red Porsche, would notice me at a dance, and we'd fall madly in love...despite the fact that I'm from the other side of the tracks, make my own clothes, have one parent, and a weird, foreigner who lives at my house that I hafta drag to the school dance!

Well at least he was fairly accurate in the latter half of the description.

2011-12-09T12:04:00.014-05:00

Facebook Creator GetsFACEBOOK CREEPED!
Yesterday's news reported that there was a bug in Facebook's security which ultimately lead to private photos of FB's creator, Mark Zuckerberg's being leaked. Sorta ironic, non? Anyway, that's not the creepy part.

APPARENTLY, and I didn't know this tidbit, Mark likes to only eat meat of animals that he kills himself! Umm...eww. I even find deboning chicken sans feathers, that doesn't even resemble the animal while it's alive, gross.

Not a complete deal-breaker, especially for an oligarch, but just don't expect me to partake in the savagery which includes eating Foghorn Leghorn, Miss Piggy, or even that ugly cow that appears on those nonsensical, Got Milk? commercials. And definitely don't include me as a huntin' buddy! :(

I'm well aware that once you hit millionaire status, you hafta develop some kinda eccentricity, so what's wrong with philandering, extortion, &/or tax evasion?

P.S. Thanks for letting us know about this glitch! Let the Facebook creepin' of other's photo albums begin...

2011-12-06T17:42:00.008-05:00

Serge Gainsbourg feat. Jane Birkin's
"Histoire de Melody Nelson" (1971)
...plutot comme l'histoire de mes vetements l'automne/l'hiver! Ou est mon jupe equestre et mes pantalon en cuir?? C'est vraiment une mystere qui me dérange! ACK.

Une autre mystere est si Serge Gainsbourg est beau ou laid. J'ai besoin des réponses.

2011-12-06T11:49:00.010-05:00

AMW Got Picked Up By Lifetime!

1. What the fuck is Lifetime? Not to be confused by the channel personally touched by the hand of God, Hallmark. I'm guessing that it's affiliated with Lifetime Movie Network, another precious ornament!

By the looks of it, Lifetime looks like the American equivalent to Canada's Slice, W Network, & other channels favoured by bored housewives. Their programming is a mix of Reality TV, shit that I've never heard of, sprinkled with moments like Unsolved Mysteries and of course their latest addition, America's Most Wanted.

2. I realise that no one, with the exception of hillbillies with a shot-up car in their front lawn, the actual fugitives that are being featured, and me, give a shit about this news. But hey, it's my blog, so I can write about whatever the hell I want!

AND most importantly,

3. WE. DON'T. GET. LIFETIME. IN. CANADA. So this silver lining, amid a cloudy sky, is basically null and void.

AMW, I'm not sure how many OR what the other channels on the negotiating table were, but couldn't you have stuck to a major network? The premise of the show is ultimately to get fugitives caught, no? So how large of an audience even get Lifetime and would watch it, to be able to identify these bad guys?

2011-12-04T20:19:00.006-05:00

Best Buy Online,

More Like WORST Buy!
'Twas the Monday after Black Friday, and since I didn't score any BF deals, it was time to play catch up. My mom's bday was coming up, she mentioned something about wanting a HDMI cable, so I popped on over to Best Buy to check out their Cyber Monday Sale. BIG MISTAKE.

Fail #1: After trying to sign on, several times, using their password retrieval that never worked, I ultimately ended up registering with another email address. To be exact, Best Buy emailed me a new password 3-4 times before I gave up.

Fail #2: For some reason, after entering all my credit card info. and mailing address, I was unable to add the 6' HDMI cable. Initially, I thought it was because they ran out of stock. However, seeing that it just past the stroke of midnight, shortly after Cyber Monday began, that explanation just seemed impossible.

After trying to add it to my cart, I just received a notice, in red font, saying that they couldn't process either the item or the quantity (1).

Out of frustration, I just ordered the 12' and that order seemed to go through. A few minutes later, I tried, yet again, to order the 6' - a more appropriate length - and that went through as well. The problem is that since I ordered them separately, they would arrive as such, and I would be charged twice for shipping!

Finally after 2AM, I went to bed. I'll call Best Buy in the AM, to put both cables into 1 order. That shouldn't be difficult, right? Wrong.

Fail #3: Monday morning, as soon as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, I picked up the phone to call Best Buy. After being on hold for what seemed like an eternity, my shoulder was hurtin' soo bad that I put the Speakerphone on. 20 minutes later, someone finally picks up the phone. After asking me for my name, mailing address, and phone number, she mutters something about transferring me to another department, where I'm put on hold again...for another 20 minutes.

Fail #4: A male finally picks up, asks me for my name, mailing address, and phone number, and proceeds to tell me that I have been transferred to the WRONG department. I am placed on hold yet again to continue this waiting game. Why do these people keep asking me to provide my details when I have my order numbers readily available??

Another male picks up the phone, asks me for my details again, and tells me that unfortunately, I cannot combine the orders. Fine. He does mention that it is not too late to cancel one of my orders so that I don't have to pay for the double shipping fee. I voice my frustration of being on hold for more than 40 minutes, being shuffled around to various associates, and he apologises.

Later on that day, I do take his advice and cancel one of the cables.

A couple of days later, my cell phone rings early in the AM. I ignore it and go back to bed. Later on, I check my voicemail to hear an ominous, automated phone call from Best Buy asking me to return their call so that they can "verify" my order. Verify my order? Who are they, Pizza Pizza?? I provided all my details, numerous times mind you, AND most importantly, credit card information so what else do they need from me, a blood sample??!!

Fail #5: I call the dreaded 1-800 number and instead of being served immediately, I find myself in that purgatory of "Your call is important to us" which is repeated every other minute.

As soon as a BB associate picked up, she doesn't ask me for clarification of my VISA number, but instead, my name, mailing address, and phone number...again. Is it February 2nd? 'cause it's beginning to look a lot like Groundhog's Day!

Fail Infinity: Today, I receive both an email AND another automated phone call saying they are unable to process my order. WTH. What happened between our last phone call, when we played nice and one of your associates told me that everything was okay?

Thank you Best Buy for wasting my time on a freakin' 12' HMDI, $9.99 cable!!!

Happy birthday, mom! Sorry that I do not have a gift for you. Please read the above post as I'm too exhausted to explain.

2011-12-01T10:49:00.007-05:00

Justin Bieber feat. Mariah Carey's"All I Want For Christmas Is You"
Wait...Justin Bieber FEATURING Mariah, since when did the tides turn??!! Is Mariah all that he wants for Christmas, if so, that's sorta creepy! Most importantly, why does it sound as though the Wizard of Oz is playin' 'round with Biebs vocals? What's goin' on down at Macy's??!!

I'm scared and confused. Daddy take off your clothes and hold me, really, really tight!

2011-11-30T22:02:00.003-05:00

Hot Bitch of the Day:Popcorn, Indiana's
Drizzled Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn
Damn you, Whole Foods for putting out those yummy 'n expensivo samples!

Not to be confused with their run o' the mill, non-drizzled, Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn, the Drizzled version is topped off with white chocolate and tastes just like a cinnamon bun. And I'm not much of a popcorn or sweets person.

Btw, I didn't bother looking at the calorie count. :)

Click here for an accurate review.

P.S. If this is available at Costco, given their portions, I'm in trouble!

2011-11-29T21:24:00.010-05:00

Wonder Showzen's

"White People"
Supervisor: You're gonna be here on Friday, right? L's retiring and she insisted on making her own cake! We're also getting her a gift...

Me (excited): Really? What did you guys end up getting??!!

S: She said that she collects Royal Doultons.

Me: Oh, so you're gonna get her a gift certificate?

S: No. We thought that we'd get her something...that's engraved, so she knows it's from us.

1. Royal Doulton? Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? Why don't you just swallow L's "Retirement Gift Fund", down some Metamucil, and shit it all out while you're at it??!!

2. You're getting something engraved??!! Sure, it's a nice thought...if you're White, but how is she gonna benefit from an "engraved" Royal Doulton? How about if you guys choose an ugly doll and get that engraved? (After all, even if you put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig!) She can't refund that shit.

3. If I were L, I'd just prefer a nice little party, nothing fancy - but certainly not grocery store cake with thick icing!, and you can just give me the rest of the Gift Fund in cash. Please and thank you!

White People, our differences rears its ugly head yet again!

2011-11-29T01:11:00.009-05:00

Young Adult trailer (2011)
Even though I'm not a leggy, blonde, model-type from a small town who's even the slightest bit delusional about getting an ex - who's married with child - back, I can relate a lot to Charlize Theron's character. You know what I'm sayin'?

This flick actually looks promising. At least it is not the latest Twilight...that was bloody terrible. If I wanted to watch Teen Mom/Baby Mamma Drama, I'd stay at home and save my $12!

Twilight: I don't like you. You are dishonest 'cause you stretch yourself into a gazillion movies just so you can make more $$$. If you're gonna do the whole spreadin' out/saga thing, at least make the movies enjoyable and not suck ass!

2011-11-24T22:23:00.010-05:00

I don't need a doctor, I just need a prescription!

In the wee hours of the morning, I woke up, hacking. And for some reason, "post-nasal drip" just came to mind.

I was determined that I didn't have the flu 'cause I'm anti-flu shot. (So I'd be damned if that is what I was stricken with!) Actually I'm anti-all these new vaccines 'cause I don't think they've undergone enough long-term testing. And I swear that they trigger other diseases, so that is why I refuse to get 'em! So far, so good.

Anyway, I was able to get a last minute appointment with my doctor. And guess what the diagnosis was? A cold with post-nasal drip. *rolls eyes* C'MON! Why not be a bit creative here? It is for this very reason why I hate going to any doctor.

Aside from gyno and other internal probs, I can basically diagnose myself. Unfortunately, I don't have the qualifications, i.e. additional letters after my name, to write a prescription! Btw, can a dr. self-prescribe?

P.S. My dr must trust me as she prescribe a narcotic-strength cough syrup, complete with a "codone" ending. So if I don't wake up tomorrow, blame Conrad Murray!

2011-11-24T17:14:00.018-05:00

Black Friday,Canadian Style
SUX. Ads come out waaay too late.

According to the news, this is on purpose 'cause retailers don't want their "competitors" to beat their prices. Okay, fine, but for most stores here, there really isn't much of a competition. The only example that comes to mind is Future Shop Vs. Best Buy. Then again, in this day and age, a "competitor" is probably any other store who sells the same item.

I say advertise that shit in advance for your customers. It's an open market and customers aren't loyal anymore. They're gonna shop wherever is convenient AND cheap for them!

Anyway, I got an email notification that for Black Friday, Sephora is offering 10 items for $12/each, complete with pics. In the US it's $10 and we've been basically on par for a while now, but whatevs, I'm not gonna nitpick.

So during my jaunt at the mall, I go into Sephora and ask if I can have a sneak peek at the merch. Just to get an idea of the size, variety, figure out what I'm going to buy tomorrow, etc., etc.

Bitch has the nerve to flat-out refuse...as if I'm some kinda spy from one of their competitors or something. (Btw, aside from MAC + the makeup counters at the department stores, there is no competition.) The Sephora sales ASSociate just said, "No, I'm sorry, but we're setting up tonight."

Um, okay, but can't you just point out the shit that you're gonna be selling tomorrow? Why the secrecy?? I just don't get it!

In terms of organising sales, Canadian retailers should just go ALL THE WAY. None of this tiptoeing, pussyfooting. If we're already copying America with this Black Friday shit, why don't we also copy their marketing too??!! Just shout that shit from the rooftops, forget about this shhh...

To the Sephora ho,

Jay-Z's

"99 Problems"

And you AIN'T one!

2011-11-23T22:53:00.016-05:00

Pros/Cons of Being An Extra

(As promised, here is a continuation of this previous post on How-To.)

PRO
+ no skill/education/experience required
+ nothing really to the job. You just have to be able to follow basic instructions
+ no need for an audition
+ feel meals, although not the healthiest options provided
+ you can see how a film is made & perhaps see celebrities. However, please keep in mind that you are not allowed to take pics/ask them for their autographs due to privacy issues
+ great place for networking/socialising! (This was personally my favourite aspect about the job. :) There is definitely a sense of comradery/Summer Camp amongst other extras!

CON
- at $11/hr for non-union "actors", the wage is just slightly over Ontario's minimum wage ($10.25/hr). Even less if you have an agent and have paid them a registration fee
- number of gigs aren't guaranteed/sporadic, so unless you're ACTRA, you shouldn't really count on it as a stable source of income
- no real motivation to do your best at all times as the hours are long. And everyone, at the end of the day, whether or not they did a good job or just hid in a trailer, never going on set, gets paid the same amount
- start time (a.k.a. "call time" for those in the know) can be as early as 4:30am, so not great news for non-Morning People :(
- transportation can be an issue, especially considering an early call time. You may not be able to take the bus/subway to the set because there simply won't be any running at that time!
- factor in the cost of transportation (bus/subway/taxi/carpool/gas/parking)
- I'm not sure if it's the food, schedule, or other, but you tend to get bloated by the end of the day. I skipped the unhealthy options like white bread, fake peanut butter/jelly, cookies, coffee, etc. and I still felt it!
- depending on the time of year and location of shoot, you may be exposed to various climates: room temp in trailer/on set, cold while gathering outside, waiting for instructions
- like any other job, there are some pretty annoying people on set! People who yap about how their religion is the best, make ignorant comments like, "You're not Black, unless your rap!", show off their ACTRA food, potheads who talk about pothead stuff. The temptation is great, but you just hafta ignore, ignore, ignore.
- there is lotsa dead time, so you hafta bring something to keep your occupied: a book, smartphone, boardgames, etc.
- no set end time, so you can't really make plans
- depending on the nature of the production, your costume/makeup can be uncomfortable, re: a zombie, robot, spandex, Victorian-era, etc.
- despite all the precautions that I took (getting enough sleep, eating healthy, & taking vitamins/supplements), I got sick after only 3 days of work. Currently, I'm still sick, so I may hafta see my dr.

I realise that these lists seem long, but I am trying to cover all the bases!

2011-11-23T01:18:00.006-05:00

Fleetwood Mac's
"Dreams" (live)
In university, I distinctly remember wanting to write Beavis & Butt-head episodes and made-for-tv/direct-to-video, softcore porn movies*.

What happened to those dreams??

* Don't ask. I grew up watching Benny Hill and neither of the 'rents batted an eye!

2011-11-22T22:54:00.014-05:00

Pretty...Pretty Boring
Dear Nicole,

I can't exactly pinpoint it, but I don't like you. I really hope that it isn't jealousy 'cause that's just plain ugly on my part.

I'm not sure why you're on X Factor 'cause there just isn't enough contrast between you & Paula. If I was Paula, I would suck Simon's Brit-dick so that he would kick your Kim K ass to da curb!

Furthermore, when you cry, it seems fake 'cause your face can't possibly emote with all the stuff that you got goin' on up there. I also see NO TEARS.

I certainly cannot deny that you have all the makings that Hollywood/America jerks off to: skinny, leggy, exotic looks, long hair, bountiful boobs, a juicy ass (thanks to this recent pic from Culo Mag), and a pleasant enough face. Albeit all a bit plastic. Good job on your careful selection of plastic surgeon!

HOWEVER, there is absolutely nothing of substance to back that ass up to. You're boring and suffering from a severe case of identity crisis: Are you a hood rat/from the South, tough/softie, bitch/sympathetic to the point where you lose it on every single episode?? Who exactly is Nicole Scherwhatever?

P.S. Please stop acting ghetto 'cause you ain't and you look like a fool!

2011-11-17T13:27:00.015-05:00

How To Become An Extra in Toronto

After my first gig, I decided to write this guide to help anyone out there who is interested in becoming an extra, a.k.a. in the industry as "background" or simply, "BG".

1. Get some headshots done. This doesn't necessarily mean investing hundreds of dollars for a professional photographer.

Ask a friend who loves photography instead, taking the pics outdoors for the best lighting, with a coupla different outfits for variety! Headshot requirements are less strict for extras, so don't stress too much about it. All you're aiming for is a photo that resembles you...in the best light.

If you've changed radically from photos that you're thinking of submitting, weight loss/gain, different hair, age, it's time to consider retaking those photos!

2. Get an agent. Yes, they all seem pretty sketchy to me, but after talking to numerous extras, the majority of the working extras all have agents. Click here for a list of ACTRA-approved agencies. Note that this list is only from A-E, so do look through the entire list. The agencies that you want to look for have "background" listed right under their name.

Also note that for non-union, i.e. non-ACTRA, actors, a fee of $50-$100+/year is required as a registration fee. (The registration fee does not guarantee you jobs. However, some agencies only require this fee after they get you a job.) Agencies also require a 10-15% commission fee for each gig that you receive as a result of their work, so keep that in mind!

You can attempt to be your own agent, finding your own gigs, escaping from the registration fee + commission, but there aren't a lot of jobs on Craigslist. (Well, according to other BGs anyway, even though Twilight was apparently posted on there.) Apparently, most listings are Craigslist are for porn/scams that get you to give an "agent" registration fee...in cash. <-- Dodgy!

3. Carpool. If you know a bunch of people from the same area who are also going to the shoot, it's a good idea to arrange to carpool. This not only saves money and is good for the environment, but it also makes sense if the shoot is downtown - which involves gas, parking, & other additional costs. Remember that sometimes the call-time can be as early as 4:30AM, so public transportation is not always an option!

4. Show up, on-time. This is especially true if you have an agent as they'll be contacted if you arrive late. Keep in mind the Woody Allen quote, "Eighty percent of success is showing up." ;)

5. Don't be anti-social on set. I've seen this quite a few times, especially with seasoned background actors who literally arrive, put their head on the table, sleep, hide from going on set, and still get paid. HOWEVER, remember what they say about first impressions.

Same unsaid rules applies to people who sleep backstage, are constantly on their cell phones on-set, and people who simply don't give a fuck.

6. Don't be nasty to anyone. One BG told me that he witnessed a disagreement between 2 other BGs and 1 BG never came back to the set. So you never know who you'll be offending and what connections they may/may not have!

There's basically nothing to being a background. The most "difficult" part would probably be getting an agent, having to get up early in the morning, AND dealing with the lotsa 'dead time' when you're not needed.

Obviously, this applies to Toronto as there seems to be a lot of productions that require a diverse cast of background actors which the city can supply! So the how-to may vary depending on what city you live in.

Look forward to my pro/con list of the job!

2011-11-14T22:12:00.003-05:00

What am I, chopped beef tongue?

Chinese Extra (to me): In China, you would be a beautiful girl.

Me: ???

2011-11-13T20:01:00.012-05:00

Mind Shift!

For the time being, I have stopped listening to The Smiths. I heard some tidbit on the radio that heavy metal's supposed to make people depressed, but I think the same can be said of moopy Brit-pop, rap, R&B ballads, etc.

Anyway, instead of my grievances, I'm gonna try to focus on these philosophies instead:

* If you see something as easy, it'll be easy. Same goes for difficult, happy, sad, etc. (I'm sure there's an actual quote about this, but it's just like this Talk Talk track.)

* "Health, happiness and success depend upon the fighting spirit of each person. The big thing is not what happens to us in life – but what we do about what happens to us."
- George H. Allen

* Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese Proverb

* "Just before you get out of the shower you should turn the temperature down and get a blast of freezing-cold water. It makes your skin really taunt and smooth and is great for the circulation, but it is not very pleasant, I have to say, and it is something you have to force yourself to do."
- Victoria Beckham

(I sorta lost momentum with this post, but not life! I dig myself outta holes rather quickly.)

2011-11-08T13:54:00.017-05:00

The Smiths'

"Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now"
(live, TOTP)
Usually, I'm not one to drown in my own woes, but let's just say that life isn't going swimmingly! (The weather is of no consolation either.) What I find ironic is that whenever life falls to shit (lemons), the almighty and often clichéd "silver lining" (lemonaid) is right 'round the corner!

(How do I know? Because next week is coming up roses, whereas the one I'm currently in reeks of cat urine. Literally and figuratively speaking. Btw, it's amazing of how oppressive certain smells can be!)

And for this reason stated above, suicide is never the solution. Oh and please don't call the cops/psyche ward, I'm not and never have been suicidal.

Just let me wallow in this one song! After all, I have major plans coming next week. ;) People with plans don't kill themselves.

Btw, is that a fuckin' Christmas swag on Morrissey's arse?

2011-11-07T22:43:00.012-05:00

When I grow up, I wanna be a...?

I realise that I should already have the answer to this question, but I don't.

Over the years, I've done a pretty good job at eliminating possibilities. Soo doesn't that mean that I'm closer to figuring out my calling in life?

My calling defo does not include the following:
- death
- young children
- old people
- teaching
- reading or studying at length
- the public at-large
- dumb, mentally-challenged, or retarded people
- social work or helping others
- giving people speeding tickets
- being diplomatic. Being politically correct = bullshit!
- punching in on some time-clock
- physical labour
- repetitive tasks
- anything that involves illegal activity/social injustice, including doing taxes for someone who is on "disability", but I know s/he is completely able-bodied, someone who has kids for a government pay cheque, etc.
- not judging people
- Math
- Science
- kissing rich people's ass
- wiping asses
- Wall St.
- government
- watching others kick-back, put their feet up, while the others, usually minorities are working their asses off!
- wearing skimpy outfits/dancing/sleeping with gross randoms for cash
- contracts
- & the list goes on...notice that I didn't say hard-work 'cause that's something that I'm definitely not opposed to, given the right task!

So what is your theory about what we end up doing with the majority of our adult lives? Is it genetic, i.e. my grandpa was a tailor, my mom can sew, and now I want to design clothing? Is it something that our parents secretly, or not so secretly, shaped us into doing? Is our career ultimately the result of a mix of opportunity + happenstance in our lives? Is it a more laissez-faire approach that "whatever you're meant to do will eventually happen" OR other?

2011-11-07T20:24:00.004-05:00

Hot Bitch of the Day:Louis Théroux
Brit-Cousin of Jen Aniston's bf, Justin Theroux, Louis does documentaries. I'm currently watching The City Addicted to Crystal Meth which, according to the doc is Fresno, CA, btw.

It's easier to do gonzo-style docs, especially in America, with a proper British accent! The juxtaposition just adds a fish-out-of-water/outsider dimension to topics such as drug addiction.

2011-11-05T10:50:00.010-04:00

R.I.P. Andy Rooney1919 - 2011
No, not one of my journalistic idols! :(

I'm sure that I'm not just speaking on my own behalf, but Rooney lived out the dream of every writer and that is to have the freedom to express what he thought...and to get paid for it too! That's certainly MY dream.

Known for behind-his-desk commentaries on 60 Minutes, Rooney died after complications following minor surgery. He was 92 years young.

Click here to read this brief HuffPo story on Rooney's career.

2011-11-04T01:09:00.010-04:00

Prince's"The Beautiful Ones"
One of my all-time fav Prince songs. (Mariah did an equally beautiful cover on the '97 album, Butterfly. Fuck that reminds me that my disc is pretty scratched up, so I need to get a replacement!) In this Purple Rain version, it's soo powerful, especially towards the ending when the it becomes more conversational to Apollonia.

And guess who's coming to ~~dinner~~ town?? None other than the His Royal Badness, The Purple One Himself, PRINCE for his Welcome 2 Canada Tour!!!

I distinctly remember the last time he was in-town, I had a gorgeous, Parisienne coworker who went to the concert. She literally melted as she described him, "Stéphanie, you don't underztand. He's soo sexie! He's soo short, just a bit taller than you, tiny and wearz zee heelz, but when he zings it's like..." Her convo trails off in endless squealing.

How come I suddenly feel like watching Purple Rain...again?? Story of my life. Whenever I feel like watching a movie, it's always well past the stroke of midnight.

Sometimes I wished that I turned into a pumpkin at midnight. So at least it would be easy for me to go to sleep. Okay, no, not really.

2011-11-03T18:05:00.012-04:00

Hot Bitch of the Day:Malcolm Gladwell
When I first laid eyes on him, on some CNN program, Fareed Zakaria-drowsy-Sunday-morning whatnot, I thought to myself, "Who is this beautiful, mulatto, Sideshow Bob creature?" And "Why do I find him soo fascinating and at the same time, attractive?"

(And I might just be biased, but when I found out that he's also Canadian, I was even more intrigued.)

Answer: BRAINS.*

Since I'm not much of a reader, namely The Tipping Point, Blink, & Outliers, I guess that makes me a zombie! Brains, brains, brains...

I wonder if Mal appreciates Beavis & Butt-head, long walks on the beach, and isn't a morning person? And yes, I do have a very particular, refined taste in men! ;)

Click here to watch a clip of Gladwell discussing his latest book, Outliers: The Story of Success, with Anderson Cooper.

* I absolutely must preface that high IQ does not necessarily = high EQ. As in most cases, brain-smart guys have been emotionally retarded!

2011-11-03T01:45:00.014-04:00

Some stereotypes are just better than others.

I don't want to put the cart before the horse or however that Whitey saying goes, but I managed to get a bit part in Guillermo del Toro's upcoming film, Pacific Rim, a.k.a. Still Seas.

My headshot got me the part of a lab technician. I don't frickin' care if I'm shot on an assembly line at the lab where Cialis is made, at least it's scores better than being handed a script, told to read the part of "prostitute"...that was haphazardly written, btw.

About a decade ago, just for tits 'n giggles, my sis & I decided to go to an open casting call for an Oliver Stone movie. We were both given the honour to read the part of the not-so-happy hooker. And I think because we commuted all the way there, were relatively young 'n naive, we read anyway. Obviously, neither of us scored the part.

I didn't look like a hooker 10 years ago and I certainly don't fit the mold now, BUT if you try to screw me over, I will cut you!

P.S. If this doesn't throw you a curveball, stereotype-wise, Math/Sciences were my worst subjects. And at least a decade of piano lessons, my fingers do not exactly 'dance' on the ivories. It's more of a drunken stumble.

2011-11-01T23:56:00.010-04:00

MTV's"FriendZone"
I wasn't able to put the actual trailer of this new MTV show, so this is a clip. The creator of Jersey Shore, SallyAnn Salsano, thought it would be a good idea to film someone confessing to their crush, also their bff, in a reality-tv/surprise-we're-on-a-date type setting.

Will their surprise date end in the smush room OR will the initiator end up in the friend zone??

Verdict? Sounds like pure platinum to me! Let's watch the sharp pain of adolescence unfold together as FriendZone premieres, Monday, November 7th at 4pm EST on MTV Canada.

If you're Canadian, click here to watch the trailer.

2011-11-01T12:48:00.007-04:00

Thisshit's

playedout,

yo!
If you live in Toronto/surrounding GTA, or anyone else for that matter, and would like my fashion respect, please refrain from wearing any of the above items, namely: Canada Goose jacket, especially a black Chilliwack, in the 20 degree mall*, Uggs of any variation, real/fake, coloured/studded/with fur, & any oversized chronograph watch.

I was gonna specify Michael Kors, but it doesn't fuckin' matter, you know why? 'Cause just walking by the showcase at The Bay, they all LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME. The only difference is that you may hafta squint a bit to see what make of the watch. Otherwise, they're pretty much the same frickin' watch.

I don't know why, but it really boils my blood when everyone looks like a clone of each other! Can't these people get some originality? Okay, I admit that I may need anger management, but WHY??!!

Btw, how do kids afford Canada Goose??!!

* We get it. You were able to afford a $695+taxes jacket. Now if you must show it off, please only wear it during a blizzard, otherwise you look like a fool!

2011-11-01T11:57:00.011-04:00

Foster The People's"Pumped Up Kicks"
Vacay anyone??

Things that I'll miss 'bout Summer:
- shoes without socks
- not capris, but pants above ankles
- the sun hitting my skin which almost feels as though it recharges me
- SUNGLASSES. I wore 'em on the weekend and it wasn't the same. The frames were too freakin' cold on my face!
- being able to wear a hat without the wind blowing it off
- not having to dress in layers
- no jacket/coat/parka/toque/scarves/mitts/gloves/Sorels/and other non-cute accessories
- the overall feeling of being 'lighter'
- the fun and fancy-free feeling of just being able to do any/everything! Come Winter, it just all seems like a lot of effort to fight with the elements
- EVERYTHING

Once this weather hits, it's an immediate onset of S.A.D.

2011-10-31T01:12:00.006-04:00

"I know this sounds gay, but it's not..."

I don't care what anyone says, but "straight" guys who dress in drag for "Halloween" have one foot out of the closet. Same goes for those men who secretly dress in lingerie.

They're probably also gonna get too "drunk", make a move on another guy, and blame it on the alcohol.

This both sounds + looks gay to me.

Happy Halloween!!

2011-10-26T17:16:00.014-04:00

To Sasha
A coupla days ago, I found out that my cat has cancer. About two years ago, I took her in for what I thought was a stubborn ear infection. No matter how much I cleaned it, it just kept on coming back.

Finally, after a coupla vet visits, not to mention $$$ in bills, the vet discovered that there was some kinda growth in which the infection was gathering behind. So no matter how much I cleaned it, it would've still been infected.

At the time, I had the option of sending out the growth for a biopsy, but I decided against it for financial reasons AND with the hope that the removal of the growth would ultimately solve the ear infection.

Fast forward 2 years...

Once again, her "ear infection" came back with a vengeance. I would see trails of blood crusts on my bed, floor, and wherever else she would go. Whenever she would come near me, I'd smell the stench which can only be described as "pussy" or if you wanna be polite, rotten fish.

2-3 visits to the vet and various ointments/antibiotic/inflammatory shots later, my vet decides to send off a sample for testing. He did mention the c-word, but reassured me that we shouldn't think about it 'til the results come back.

After a week+, I called my vet and he gave me the dreaded diagnosis: something-something carcinoma which is particularly aggressive in the ear canal. My options? See a pet oncologist/cancer specialist, paying thousands of dollars for no guarantee OR wait 'til I see telltale signs that she is suffering and then put her down.

The former: I am not rich, so I cannot afford to toss thousands of dollars into the wind...especially without any kind of guarantee. The later: Who do I look like, Madonna? I am not heartless. I do not want to simply and painfully sit and wait 'til my cat looses her shit. I'm also not a particularly passive person, so this option would just KILL ME.

Since neither option appeals to me, right now, I'm at the stage where I am collecting information, i.e. thinking about seeking a second opinion, holistic treatments, or submit my cat to medical trials at the Ontario Veterinary College (UofG).

This may sound barbaric, but I swear I read it online, would having my cat's ear amputated make cancer go bye-bye? I mean that's something that I'd hafta do if I had breast cancer, so the idea itself isn't too out there, is it?

Thinking about my cat's possible death has made me draw a sad comparison: Is what I'm currently faced with somewhat similar to what it must be like if I was a po' American? Are there people walkin' 'round with melon-sized lumps, on the side of their necks, because they're simply too scared and too poor to go to the doctor?

Thinking about my cat's possible death has also made me reflect on my own mortality.

P.S. If you've found this post by doing a google search and currently going through the same thing, I FEEL YOU!

2011-10-24T22:59:00.010-04:00

HK slasher:Dream Home (2010) trailer
The tagline for this film is probably something like: She would kill for that condo. Sorry if I spoiled the movie, but if this helps, Dream Home was pretty decent with unique kills. So don't let my lame, fake tagline stop you from watching!

Tell me if I'm normal (or not), but I'm ambivalent about life's major obstacles, including becoming a homeowner, wife, or mother. My mindset is, "If it happens, it happens". A mortgage, being tied-down, or waking up at god awful hours to crying isn't my idea of a good time. :P

2011-10-15T00:33:00.013-04:00

Introducing iPhone 4s' "Personal Assistant":Siri!
Why do all the rich people get to do cool things like talk to inanimate objects?

When will Siri's purpose be perverted by man and forced to do evil?

If I had an extra $649 (plus HST) kickin' 'round, I would put Siri to do only good! Here are some things that I'd ask her to do:
- pay my bills from Siri's account, i.e. what Apple is making on this super phone
- each and every time an ex contacts me, Siri will remind me exactly WHY we broke up
- I'm already pretty good at this, but Siri can administer a lie-detector test...YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!
- a built-in police scanner so that I can dodge the pigs!
- a countdown eBay alarm. I'm really horrible at math, so it's difficult for me to estimate what time it would be in 21h 22m
- voice-command operated tip calculator. Again, my math skillz are weak, yo, so even by punching in numbers into a cell phone tip calculator, I always manage to tip wrong. It would be a bonus if Siri can take "bad/good service" into consideration when calculating the tip!
- a wifi hotspot finder to find the closest, FREE spot

That's all that comes to mind for now, but these are all things that would contribute to making me a better person, right?

2011-10-14T12:19:00.005-04:00

Lindsay Lohan's Teeth

Are words even necessary??

Looks like more than just coffee + cigarettes happenin' here! Okay, I sorta understand if you're regular folk, saving up for some dental work, but c'mon now!

I'm sure, if she wanted to, she could get free teeth!!!

2011-10-14T11:17:00.008-04:00

The Ides of March: The poster is better.

This review is long overdue as I watched this George Clooney-directed film on opening day. One word...okay 2: Overhyped and disappointed. Honestly, this poster is better than the film itself!

I felt like I was watching some CNN special on what goes on, behind-the-scenes, of a US election. Without giving any spoilers, the BIG climax/"conspiracy" isn't even all that as inferred by the trailer.

George Clooney is well...err...umm...George Clooney. His acting never varies or deviates. And Ryan Gosling's acting chops weren't really challenged. He also keeps his clothes on which is another strike against this movie.

So if you missed this flick, don't feel bad. You didn't 'miss' much.

2011-10-12T22:04:00.015-04:00

Fatty in atribute.
(Sorry, that was waaay too easy, but my inner-bully just had to!)

I've been on What-the-fuck-happened-the-Christina-Aguilera ever since that Cher movie came out...which was before The Voice.

In the Cher movie, Christina was visibly curvier. Whatever, fat happens. However, in The Voice, not only did Xtina gain even more weight, but + wore waaay too much make-up + had that terrible weave!

Anyway, her most recent public appearance, at the Michael Jackson Tribute, 'Michael Forever' was the height of white hot mess. She can still belt, but this is a far cry from "Genie in a bottle"! It's just all too much. Too much (fake) hair, make-up, skin, joo-ree, and yes, weight.

(Sometimes people who put on a lot of weight try to overcompensate with lotsa flair which doesn't address the actual problem, but rather draws even more attention to the obvious.)

According to the rumour mill, Christina has been hittin' the bottle a bit too hard. If this is what being a wino looks like, thank God I don't drink on a regular basis.

I'm also thankful that I revisited these pics because it basically motivated me to move a 50lb NordicRider up to my room! No joke. Fat's not welcomed in this bod, no siree!

2011-10-11T23:37:00.004-04:00

Wonder Showzen:Plastic Surgeons Without Borders
Soo wrong, it's right!

This Thanksgiving - I know I'm late - I'm thankful for the return of Wonder Showzen. Better late than never, MTV Canada!

2011-10-09T12:17:00.011-04:00

I'm not that type of girl.

As soon as I met A, a new coworker, I instantly liked her. I was thinking about WHAT drew me to A, despite knowing very little about her, and the answer is her disposition.

A's just about the opposite of me: always has a genuine smile on her face, easy-going, patient, and doesn't appear to get easily angered. This is just how A is and it's not fake.

On the other hand, I tend to smile only when it's warranted, not as easy-going as I would like to be, impatient, and I'm easily ~~angered~~ enraged. This is just how I am, I wear my feelings on my face, and it's also not fake.

I wish I could be like A, but I'm not, and that's why I like/admire her. <-- Isn't that true for most of our friends, i.e. we're drawn to them because they have something that we lack?

Anyway, my belief about disposition is that it's pretty much the result of your upbringing. Of course you can try to be a bit more positive, easy-going, patient, and whatnot, to a certain extent, but ultimately you will come back to who you truly are.

Btw, the Angry Little Asian Girl is giving you the middle finger...not the thumbs up!

2011-10-05T20:05:00.007-04:00

Dear Teavana,

No, I do not want/need a fancy schmancy cast iron "Chinese" tea pot or a nifty, $10 tin to store my loose leaf or White Ayurvedic Chai Blend that you mix the tea that I want with or $22 for a smidgen of tea, that I have never tried before.

Just give me the bare minimum and let me be on my peaceful way.

Namaste,
Stephania.

2011-10-05T19:01:00.014-04:00

America,this

is

why

you're

fat!
After a recent trip to my neighbour, south of the border, I've cracked the code as to why Americans are overweight: cheese + deep fried everything + too much salt/sugar in the form of processed foods, including fast food!

At an Olive Garden, which exemplifies typical American "Italian" cuisine, they offered to put cheese on everything that they served. Why would I want shredded cheese atop my soup or pizza for that matter? That's like putting fat on top of fat!

Wanna make something yummier? Deep fry the shit outta it and the masses will come flocking!

There is also waaay too much salt/sugar. To be fair, a lot of it in buried under a list of ingredients which most people don't bother reading. I was looking through loaves of bread and 1 of them listed high-fructose corn syrup as a main ingredient! Since I didn't want sweet bread, I'm guessing that the HFCS serves as a preservative.

Another example is that things that are supposed to be healthy, e.g. salad, are made completely UNHEALTHY by adding cheese + too much salt/sugar. When I ordered a salad, I forgot to ask to have the dressing on the side and when it arrived, it was super salty! So not even salad is sacred anymore.

Tip: Ask what kind of dressing is available, opt for a non-creamy dressing, basic oil/vinegar one...on the side. Skip the croutons!

In comparison to Canada, eating out in the States - not at a Chez Pierre - is generally CHEAPER! It is far easier and relatively affordable to drive* to a restaurant as opposed to actually gathering all the ingredients/cooking something. We get into trouble if we leave our health in the hands of McD et al!

On a positive note, Americans do have pretty amazing chip flavours that we can't get here.

*Other reasons for becoming a fatty: lack of exercise + overload in carbs. I was standing in front of a pizza place, in a food court, trying to find out the price of a slice. I couldn't find the $$, but there was a sign letting their customers know that a slice of pizza did come with 6 garlic knots + a large pop! Problem.

2011-09-29T00:27:00.014-04:00

Haters Gonna Hate

At this stage in my life, I can't believe that I'm actually talking about haters. As whenever a FB "friend" of mine - who happens to be an actor* - has any status to do with haters, I always roll my eyes.

I simply didn't believe that it was a problem, but boy, it is. However, in a strange twist of fate, hatin' often generates ratings.

So I wanted to thank all of the haters (& obviously lovers) for making yesterday one of the highest number of visitors/day...ever. There were just under 200 people who were curious enough/had enough time to check out this page. :)

So a HUGE THANK YOU to you all!

P.S. I'm not usually one for delusional self-pumpin' via these weird bumper sticker-type memes, but I love this pic! You know that those pets with built-in fur coats walk 'round with their chests puffed out.

* Remember that I don't like actor types.

2011-09-27T23:43:00.007-04:00

A Blonde Moment

Speaking of blondes...

Me (staring out onto body of water): Why aren't there any cruises that depart from Toronto?

D: 'Cause it's just Lake Ontario...unless you want to take a cruise of the East Coast. And who the hell wants to do that? It's boring.

Okay, so geography wasn't my strongest subject!

2011-09-27T22:15:00.008-04:00

ARRRGGGGHHH...I hate mofo cops!!!
The mere act of giving out parking/speeding tickets, even if the pay/benefits are good, is enough to make me steer clear from one profession.

I'm not blond or do I have huge tits, so obviously, I'm the one that the pigs are doling out tickets to.

Anyway, I find it really ironic that I've never ever received a speeding ticket in my own hometown, after living here all my life. Yet the moment I decide to go into the city, it's speeding ticket central. It's sorta like one giant welcome sign: WELCOME TO TORONTO, HERE'S A TICKET!

I guess we can determine which one is the cash-strapped city!

2011-09-20T23:35:00.007-04:00

You get fat,

You get fine!
...in Japan anyway. Too late for you, US/Canada/rest of fatty world!!!

(Sorry to glittery shoes + Ryan Gosling.)

2011-09-20T21:13:00.008-04:00

Hot Bitch of the Day:Miu Miu Glitter Booties
a.k.a. Trompe L'Oeil Booties. Whatever they're called, I love 'em. Call my heart fickle.

I don't really care for the ones that look like a dinner napkin or the ones on the bottom right, but the others are HAWT. Price is not at ~$890USD. :( So guys, when you get to your Xmas shopping, remember that I am a size 5.5US, 'k? Kisses.

A girl can dream, can't she?

P.S. I'm mesmerised by the glitter-ing.

2011-09-20T20:49:00.010-04:00

I YRYAN GOSLING!!!
In case you didn't get the memo, I FUCKIN' LOVE RYAN GOSLING!!!

So naturally, my heart died a little when I read part of his interview with The Times (UK):

"I had two of the greatest girlfriend of all time. I haven’t met anybody who could top them…. Show business is the bad guy,” he told the paper. “When both people are in show business it’s too much show business. It takes all of the light, so nothing else can grow.”

And ready for the kicker??

He laments, “I’d like to be making babies but I’m not, so I’m making movies. When someone comes along I don’t think I’ll be able to do both and I’m fine with that. I’ll make movies until I make babies. I have no idea when the handover will happen.”

Not sure when this interview took place, but didn't the guy just go out with Eva Mendes? If so, that's a harsh way of finding out that the date didn't go so well.

I'm not sure if the guy's a douchbag in reality, and just really good at hiding it, but he also told E! Online this about fans, “They’re disappointed when I’m not Ryan Reynolds”. *swoon*

So there it is, I'm harbouring a little crush on this Canadian actor and I don't even like blonds or actor-types! And although I love him, I'm not as devoted as this chick, re: ryanfuckinggosling.

2011-09-19T19:08:00.022-04:00

Kavinsky's

"Nightcall"
Over the weekend, I saw the new Ryan Gosling movie, Drive. It boggles my mind that he hasn't blown up more than he deserves after starring in films such as The Believer (2001), Half Nelson (2006), & Blue Valentine (2010).

So 2011 may just be Gosling's year with Crazy, Stupid, Love. + Drive + the upcoming, The Ides of March!!! With the exception of Ides, I've watched both these films already. And although the plot of Ides doesn't interest at all, e.g. politics 'n conspiracies, I still intend to watch it just based on Gosling alone. I really don't get the whole George Clooney thing.

If you plan to watch Drive, I recommend that you DON'T watch the trailer or read too many reviews. Going in, I just knew that the film was getting really good reviews and in the end, I liked the film even more! Pay particular attention to the way it's paced, filmed, styled, lit, and Cliff Martinez soundtrack.

Anyway, I'm really excited for Gosling's overdue recognition from Hollywood 'cause I have a vested interest. I've been a fan since, not as far as Mickey Mouse Club, but BREAKER HIGH, re:

P.S. Even though I was in uni at the time, I *loved* this show about high school being on a cruise ship! It was soo blown up in my mind, I wanted that this show to last forever 'cause I wanted to write for it.

2011-09-15T11:34:00.009-04:00

eBay Stories: Why are people soo rude online?

No offense, but why are there soo many fuckin' rude people online? They exist in real life as well, but they know better than to give me any sass 'cause I'd smack them upside the head!

Anyway, if you've done any significant selling on eBay, I'm sure you have had these unpleasant encounters: Not only do such buyers want a deal, but they're also very rude in their approach!

For example, I had a bunch of auctions that ended on Sunday. Yesterday, i.e. 3 business days after the fact, I messaged the 2 outstanding buyers to ask them if they intend to complete the transaction, that I was planning to list some items and was wondering whether or not I should include the items the "won"*, etc. And here was 1 of the responses, a direct cut 'n paste:

Please kindly be patient..I am not sure as why buyers are so impatient...YOU WILL GET PAID EXACTLY WITHIN EBAY SPECIFIED PAYMENT GUIDELINES FOR BUYERS..SO DON'T JUST ASSUME BY DEFAULT THAT BUYER WON'T BE PAYING..HAVE A POSITIVE APPROACH IN LIFE & DON'T BE PUSHY.....LIST OTHER PAIRS THAT YOU HAVEN'T SOLD & DON'T WORRY ABOUT PAYMENT FOR THIS ONE....THX

What the f*ck is this all about? The message starts off normal...until he goes off the rails with the ALL CAPS. Who does he think he is, Kanye? Needless to say, I BLOCKED HIS A$$!!!

I recently discovered how to block specific users from bidding. (Yes, I'll admit that I'm a bit slow with figuring all these filters out!) Since I've had to do this a lot recently, here's an easy reference of How To Block Bidders:

Once you've logged in, go to My eBay > Account tab > Site Preferences (left-hand side) > Buyer requirements, Show, Edit > click onto the "buyer requirements exemption list" link > under Blocked Bidder/Buyer List, click onto the "Add an eBay user to my Blocked Bidder/Buyer List" link > add user ID person you wish to block and press "Submit"!

If you want, you can also block Blocked User from contacting you. Since I'm a glutton for punishment, I haven't gone to this length yet!

After this little discovery, I AM NOT LOOKING BACK!

* A 'nudge' which I devised myself. Usually works without sounding too mean.

2011-09-14T23:30:00.015-04:00

Jew-Who App = Racist??

Whoever created this app is a genius! I would *definitely* use this, if I had an iPhone.

I'm no computer programmer, so even if I had conceptualised this idea, I wouldn't have the technical know-how to create such an app.

(Damn my no-techie self 'cause I could've been a gazillionaire by now!)

Too bad it's only useful for famous/celebrity Jews tho' and not the Everyday Jew. It would be a bonus if they had a last name look-up &/or a facial recognition feature...even if the results were "Possibly A Jew", "No, Just Italian", or a flat-out, "Hell No"!

It would be very interesting if this app collected data of its users and whether or not they were Jews or Gentiles. Since Jews subscribe to the "it takes one to know one" mentality, I'm thinking that they wouldn't be the ones downloadin' this shit. HOWEVER, every Jew I know always wants to know whether or not someone else is Jewish and they just end up google people, instead of asking 'cause they don't want to look a fool.

So I don't really get why this app is considered racist when it's basically a google search engine with a specialised interface.

Click here to read news story of this "Jew Or Not Jew" App.

***Update: Click here to read James Cave's (iPhoneBloggers) interview with the creator of the App, Johann Levy.***

2011-09-14T22:55:00.006-04:00

"Sorry, but I'm not gonna cheat...with just anyone! I have standards too."

Dear Mr. Married,

Neither drinks, coffee, nor walking on the waterfront sound like platonic activities for us to do. Here's a thought, why don't you do these things with your WIFE??!!

Please eff off and try someone else, I'm not interested!
Stephania.

P.S. If you try to contact me, I will tell on you!

I realise it gets boring fucking - or not! - the same person time and time again, but do NOT drag me into the doldrums of your life.

Go to the gym, on a walk, read a book, take a vacation, find a new hobby &/or seek counselling in order to try and figure out where this void is coming from.

I refuse to be the scapegoat for your marital woes.

2011-09-13T23:32:00.003-04:00

DJ Mehdi (feat. Chromeo)'s
"I Am Somebody"

R.I.P. DJ Mehdi.

Read the tragic story here.

2011-09-13T00:17:00.007-04:00

Missoni for Target:Highlights
The above look is a bit much when worn altogether, but I like the jumper. Hopefully the quality of the knit material is decent. Floppy hats look dumb on me.

I'd wear the cardigan/maxi skirt separately, but not together!

Wellies, like the above, should NEVER be $200+! So this is a good opportunity to get some cute rainboots on-the-cheap. ;)

I *love* patterned/coloured tights! The accessories of the Missoni + Target collabo seem to be the real standouts. Other accessories include: socks, purses/clutches, makeup pouches + patterned brushes, hairbands/clips, headscarves, etc. The home decor look nice too.

Missoni didn't leave out the men in your life! Again, hopefully this sweater isn't 100% acrylic. *yikes*

How frickin' awesome is this bike?? According to some comments, this retro rider is priced at $399.99!

Starting today, September 13 - October 22, Target will be selling the Missoni for Target line. While supplies last. Click here to check out the full lookbook!

2011-09-12T21:54:00.009-04:00

I hate sick people.

Maybe "hate" is a wrong word, but I definitely DO NOT feel sympathy for people who are constantly sick/frail/coughing/sneezing/low energy - unless you are an octogenarian. I just don't understand it.

Furthermore, sick people are natural repellents for me. Even though something like sneezing/frailty/low energy isn't exactly contagious, I just don't wanna be near 'em!

Call me unsympathetic/callous/cold-hearted/a bitch, but if you're eating pizza + other processed crap, everyday, there's a reason why you're constantly sick.

2011-09-09T00:30:00.006-04:00

Trailer:
Contagion (2011)
This will be the first time in like a decade that I will not be at TIFF.

So...instead of fighting the crowds, squeezing by teenie boppers/crazy cougars/starfuckers in order to get something in my growling stomach, being "diplomatic" of overhyped films/celebs, and being continually letdown 'cause a film that I wanna watch is "Sold Out", I'll be watching Contagion.

Despite not having any zombies, I still like virus films.

P.S. I also value my own space, peace 'n quiet, empty sidewalks, eating whenever/whatever I want, shooting off my mouth - without having to look 'round to see if I'm offending anyone, and watching whatever bloody film I want!

2011-09-02T01:33:00.004-04:00

Hil & I =Body Twins!
I realise that she's some months pregnant, but Hilary Duff basically has the same body type as I do.

Not sure if I'm as big on the hips/thighs as I would never wear horizontal stripes, especially in that region.

I also wouldn't wear a bolero either, especially if I was preggo!

2011-09-02T01:10:00.005-04:00

Introducing...TREGGINGS!!!
In the '80s, there were leggings.

Then in '09, the world was introduced to jeggings = jeans + leggings.

And now '11, we have TREGGINGS = trousers + leggings.

I feel as though I've come full-circle in my relationship with leggings. Can we keep things strictly monogamous now and stop introducing new partners into the mix??

2011-09-01T23:28:00.014-04:00

Man UP!

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people don't take ownership of their mistakes.

The rule is this simple: You make a mistake, recognise the error of your ways, and follow up with an action, i.e. A FUCKIN' APOLOGY FOR YOUR FUCK UP. Done. Good karma restored. If not, you'll be cursed for life, muthafucker!

I'm talking in general, but even for small issues too. It's just damn irritating when people make up excuses, shift the blame (on a natural disaster of all things), and other little bitch moves that basically say, "It wasn't me"!

Case in point: Bought dress off eBay. Seller said that it would cost $35 for shipping from the States. WAAAY high, should be like $10, but whatevs. Immediately, I pay up and for that price, I do expect a faster method of shipping.

4 days later, I receive a notice that she finally shipped the dress. Umm...excuse me? If I pay you $35 fuckin' dollars, you'd better get your ass to the post office pronto!

As a seller myself, I do this for my customers. If only 1 person out of a few buyers pay, then I'll wait another day for more people to pay up, but I will not wait 4 whole days.

(Besides, eBay's policy states that a seller MUST ship within 3 business days of receiving the payment. I'm not German, but a day late = a day late.)

Aside from the Canada Post strike, it's NEVER taken me 4 freakin' days to mail something out. If this were to happen, I would contact all the affected buyers, apologise with a reason - not an excuse, and include their tracking numbers in the same email. This would be especially true if someone paid me for premium shipping.

Anyways, I emailed the seller today, tell her that I haven't received the item, and ask her for a tracking number. Her response? She claims that post offices in her area were closed due to Hurricane Irene.

Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?? Do you think I live in a flippin' igloo and have no access to CNN/internet? Listen bitch, the auction ended 8/22, you didn't send out the item 'til 8/26 (late!), and the "hurricane" wrapped on ~8/27. So why would the post offices be closed the day PRIOR to a natural disaster? Furthermore, you live in fuckin' Brooklyn, NY. Irene wasn't even a thing, it just caused some minor flooding, so why are you even tryin' to play me a fool??

And why didn't you send me the tracking number at the time of dispatch? Don't you think you sorta owe me a tracking number since you're already gauging me for shipping?

I swear, once I receive the package, if the postage is less than $35, I will report yo' ass!

Like Elton John said, sorry does seem to be the hardest word. And it truly is a sad, sad situation...

2011-09-01T13:12:00.011-04:00

The Cars'

"Just What I Needed" (live)
The trick in finding a mate is finding someone who...

- doesn't make you wanna wince/throw a paperbag over his head as soon as he leans in for a kiss,

- can tolerate your shit and vice-versa,

- although they annoy you to no end, his bad habits don't cause you to plot murder against him,

- -se scent doth not offend thy nostrils,

- you can spend a whack loada time with, just hangin',

- is sorta like a stalker who you've embraced into your life and don't bother calling the popo on.

2011-08-30T14:54:00.013-04:00

The Shit List

Yesterday, I thought I was depressed, but today is a new day!

I don't get down too often or for too long, but when I do, I'm sure it isn't far off from what people suffering from actual depression experience.

I pride myself in being fairly self-aware, so here is a pattern of "stuff" I go through during my rut:

- a strong desire to travel, not to discover but more of a part of The Escapist Fantasy;

- feelings of restlessness, anxiousness, with some obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Not as scary as it sounds, but it's similar to my PMS symptoms;

- insomnia;

- a need to buy "new" things. Subconsciously, I think these things will help me feel better, e.g. clothes, make-up, face wash, coffee beans, etc. Luckily for my wallet, I'm usually much too practical to buy stuff that I don't need, so that's good;

- isolate/homebody/hibernate, but I definitely feel better when I get out tho';

- as part of the restlessness, I feel as though I need a haircut;

- less attention to what I eat. It never fully gets out of hand, but I do hafta make an extra effort to eat more balanced meals,

- a strange desire to have a baby, i.e. "My life is over anyway, why not add a baby into the mix?", and;

- an overall feeling of apathy/blech/malaise.

Currently, I'm having a bit of problem thinking of more symptoms because I'm no longer feeling this way. At least I can rule out depression.

2011-08-29T16:25:00.011-04:00

got2b rockin' it: Dry Shampoo

Last week, I purchased the above mentioned got2b product which is owned by Schwarzkopf & Henkel. During PMS, my hair tends to get greasy literally the day after I wash it! So after seeing this product on sale, I decided to buy/try it.

(I purchased it for $5.99, but I just saw it on sale somewhere else for $3.99! I suspect that retailers have caught wind of this issue and is trying to unload their remaining supply.)

I've used the product a total of 2 times, each time approximately 3-4 sprays and...the 122g bottle is EMPTY!

After reading some reviews mentioning the same issue, just prior to my first use, I wasn't too surprised about the empty bottle. Apparently, there is something wrong with the spray mechanism that causes lotsa product to dispense.

Today I called the 1-800 number on the aerosol can and the company is sending me a replacement bottle that shouldn't have the same issue. Sale or not, if you've run into this problem as well, do not hesitate to contact the company!

2011-08-25T13:34:00.009-04:00

Meet The New Bachelor:Ben Flajnik
(Is he like European or something?? Whatever he is, he's sorta hot + rich = good, but his personality's a bit on the drier side for my liking!)

If The Bachelor returns to its usual Monday 8pm time slot, I will finally have something to whack off to! As I neither have access nor do I seek out the following shows that everyone seems to talk about, re: Glee, Game of Thrones, True Blood, Breaking Bad, The Office, Mad Men, what have you.

I do manage to watch Intervention + the new season of Millionaire Matchmaker even though I don't have the channels. ;) And of course, every Thursday = Jersday! Aside from that, coverage of Jack Layton's tribute has been my constant companion. Sad, but true.

Yesterday, J pointed out that I like reality tv and my initial reaction was defensive, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!!" But looking at all the crap that I do watch, she's right. I guess I do like reality television.

2011-08-22T23:30:00.004-04:00

Ashford & Simpson's
"Solid (As A Rock)"
"The thrill is still haw-haw-haw-haw-haw-haw-haw-HAWT!"

R.I.P. Nick Ashford.

How's next on cancer's roster??

2011-08-22T20:33:00.006-04:00

R.I.P. Jack Layton:1950 - 2011
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic.

And we'll change the world."

- Jack Layton

Truly a sad day. :(

Click here to read the rest of his letter.

2011-08-22T19:58:00.005-04:00

Let's NOT Go To The Ex,

A Disgruntled Letter

To Whom It May Concern,

I just visited The Ex today and I wanted to express my disappointment with how your staff handled my corporate discount.

Since I didn't know how many family members were going to show up, I was hesitant in purchasing tickets beforehand online - with the discount. And I was under the impression that it was not going to be a problem purchasing them in-person, as indicated on a printout, complete with the promo code.

First, I approached your box office near the Dufferin Gates, who sent me to there supervisor who was located in a trailer behind them. When I spoke to the girl in the trailer, she had no idea what I was talking about, and her actual manager was not there. Neither person knew how to handle my situation and simply told me to purchase tickets, at regular price, and see someone at Guest Relations.

Eventually making my way to Guest Relations, the person at the front desk also had no knowledge of how to handle the situation, so I asked if I could speak to her supervisor. The lady just disappeared into an office and when she reappeared, she told me that I was not able to purchase corporate tickets, in-person, etc. etc.

What I am upset about is the following:
1) Staff seemed disorganised as to how to handle a situation which I would think seems like a fairly common one;
2) The amount of time I wasted getting a run around, bouncing from staff-to-staff at the Box Office - Manager of Box Office - Guest Relations;
3) The Manager of the Guest Relations didn't even have the decency to come out to speak to me and basically used her staff as a messenger, and;
4) In the end, aside from a bunch of "I'm sorry", my problem was never really addressed. I was never offered a refund for the difference for the admission that I paid. That's all I wanted.

Overall, I am quite appalled at the non-chalant and unprofessional attitude as displayed in the (mis)handling of this situation. After decades in operation, I would expect a level of knowledge as to handle such an issue which seems like an easy fix to me.

Thank you for your attention,

Stephania.

2011-08-22T00:19:00.019-04:00

The CNE, a.k.a. "The Ex" has boiled down to this.
Currently, one of Toronto's most overrated "attractions" has got to be the Canadian National Exhibition, a.k.a. The CNE, a.k.a. The Ex! Admission is $16/person and it doesn't get you very much. And for families, especially ones with lotsa kids, I really sympathise with you!

(My mom's corporate rate wasn't honoured. I was under the impression that it wouldn't be a problem to purchase tickets with her discounted rate, in-person, but when I got there, all I got was the run 'round + a bunch of "I'm sorries". So...things didn't get off on the right foot!)

Despite being lame as hangin' with granny, kids are gonna want to go on the rides AND play the games. :( For 22 ride tickets, it's $20, and each ride is approx. 4-6 tickets. Games are another expense at ~$3 a pop!

Remember that these rides are haphazardly set-up, run by kids, and are probably the same ol' pieces of steel as they were when I was a child. I felt as though I was having deja-vu as nothing is new.

Shopping is also lame, lame, lame! Merchandise consists of old nail polish, DVDs/games - who the heck still DVDs, in bulk at that, anyway?, disposable fashions a la Siblings, Bluenotes, Stitches, and other crap which eventually falls apart, and just random mishmash of garage sale offerings! NO DEALS.

The building which had stuff categorised, according to country, was slightly more interesting, but there's still nothing that I'd buy. Ironically, I'm sure that half of the merch was made in China anyway, so disregard the country names listed above the stall!

The Farm + The Canadian Military thing are just modern forms of propaganda. I do support eating locally and farmers, but I don't believe that all animals are treated humanly on farms.

As for the Military set-up, all that was missing was an Uncle Sam "I Want YOU!" poster. It sort of disturbs me that more than half of the people who were at that display were kids. Canada does play an important, peacekeeping role when it comes to the military, but I just couldn't help but feel as though they were "planting a seed" early in regards to joining the military. Who knows, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe kids are retards &/or suffer from A.D.D., and don't think much after they've seen bombs, guns displayed or sat in a war plane!

And lastly, The Food Building. Still the #1 draw as far as The Ex is concerned. How did they fare this year? Alright. Although there is no way in hell that I'm paying $8 to sample the disgusting Krispy Kreme Doughnut Burger or how ever much the Fried Butter/Coke cost! Those caloric-ridden items don't interest me as much as the variety that's under one roof.

To get the most out of The Food Building, share, share, share. That's probably the only cost-efficient, not to mention healthy conscious way to make it through the meal. Most portions seemed enough for at least 2 servings, so keep that in mind!

Overall, the admission for The Ex is unreasonable, considering all the other crap that you hafta pay for. Blame it on inflation, but it's just not what it used to be.

2011-08-16T21:42:00.004-04:00

Birthday =Off The Hook
It doesn't really work with Asian peeps, but on other people, especially the White folks, bringing up the fact that "it's my birthday" allows you to get away with just about everything. It's a convenient excuse and why not?

...It's MY BIRTHDAY! It only comes but once a year. ;)

Similar can be said about "I have my period" - not as effective though 'cause that comes once/month and "I'm pregnant" which will basically allows you to get away with murder!

2011-08-11T21:14:00.004-04:00

Don't get a speeding ticket. Like ever.

Car insurance-wise, don't ever get a speeding ticket.

Wondering why my insurance was a bit steep, I decided to get an insurance broker. After all, I'm driving a beater and my record was clean...or so I thought.

Anyway, after a long line of questioning, I was given a much better quote, about $20/month less than what I'm paying now. I was absolutely thrilled to be saving some money!

Later on that day, my insurance broker leaves me a message and wants me to call him back. Fine. I called him today and he said that the original quote that he gave me was invalid 'cause I had a speeding ticket...huh? WHEN? Answer: From fuckin' '07 which I settled in court a freakin' year later in '08.

So apparently, "it stays on your driving record" means that your insurance shoots up, in my case, as much as $20/month...for 3 years. Over than span of 3 years, that adds up to $720!!! How is that even fair that I am essentially being "punished" for something that was done soo long ago, that I took the effort to solve by going to court. Wasn't paying the ticket enough of a punishment?

I agree that your insurance should go up due to an accident where the driver is at-fault. However, I think there's a HUGE difference between causing an accident and speeding.

So FYI, the auto insurance here in Canada is fucked. Just sayin'.

2011-08-09T23:39:00.002-04:00

Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera's
"Moves Like Jagger"
Adam Levine is a douche, sound like he's been given a proper kick in the nuts. Christina Aguilera has definitely been stretched to the nines and looks as though she was filmed on another set 'cause they probably can't stand each other.

So it is really unfortunate that I like this song? :(

2011-08-05T02:03:00.004-04:00

Chilliwack's

"Whatcha Gonna Do"
Shouldn't it be "Who You Gonna Do"?? It's sorta ironic that he's worried about his girl creepin' when he's the one in a band!!!

2011-08-04T17:59:00.004-04:00

Shirt As Skirt
Did your skirt or pants just split? Like the pattern of a long sleeved shirt, but tired of wearing it? Can't be bothered to alter a shirt that's a tad too big? On the hunt for a new skirt style? Did you inherit a bunch of shirts from an ex? Well, here's a cheap, diy answer...turn that shirt into a skirt!

I read about the idea here on Chictopia, but apparently, the Japanese have been pulling off this look for years! Why am I not surprised?

Anyway, I decided to try out the trend for myself, and here are the results...

After trying quite a few button-ups in my closet, I settled on this snap button denim shirt which was a more relaxed fit. Shirt Skirt would probably work best with an oversized shirt, so that you can have more material to play with, and even make a bow out of the sleeves.

Minus the shoes, if you don't have these items in your closet already, it'll cost you $15 tops! I purchased both the shirt (Gap, $9.99) + vintage Christian Dior silk tank (~$5) at Value Village.

If you're brave enough to attempt the look, here are a few tips:

- Do not use a slim fit shirt. There are just not enough buttons/material to work with!

- The look is meant to look asymmetrical. So a tail-cut buttom hem is probably a bit more flattering than a shirt cut straight across.

- Belt not required. Unless you use a short-sleeved shirt, the sleeves act as a belt, so skip this extra bulk!

- Try doing up the buttons asymmetrically, on the diagonal.

- Aside from button-ups, you can use other shirts as well, including cardigans and sweaters. If it's a pullover, just make sure your waist fits through the neck.

- Play with different patterns and textures! This look is not meant to be Banana Republic-Safe. Try polka dots, florals, or even stripes!

- Balance out your proportions. Since the bottom is a bit bulky, with the sleeve-belt, pair it with a more fitted top.

- Have fun! Fashion is only about taking risks, but it's meant to be fun as well. So don't forget that!

Be brave! My version felt pretty secure. ;)

2011-08-04T13:48:00.004-04:00

Goin' Back To Cazzie
Add this to the list...a vintage pair of Cazals. Non-607s, I don't wanna take that away from Run!

Here are the kinda peeps who dig my gear:

- White Boys, aged 10-12, "Mom, look she has a G-Shock too!"

- Indian/Persian/Guido Party Boys, late-20s-mid-30s, "Yo, I'm gonna buy that watch off you! How much?" Answer: NOT FOR SALE, ASSHOLE!

- Black Kids, aged 16+, "Fresh shoes! Where did you get 'em?"

2011-08-03T22:36:00.012-04:00

Letter About Beef

Yo homegurl,

You know I've gotz beef with her, so why be tryin' to make us buds, yo? Are you as thick as I am stubborn?

You know exactly why I don't like her, re: she left egg on my face! (I am a Leo and my pride is a big deal.) And I know that was ancient history, that I'd be willing to toss out the window, but to make things worse, bitch boldface IGNORES me each and every time I run into her.

Recently, she had an opportunity to make things better by chimin' in on an email chain that you pulled me into, but...nada. Haven't heard a peep outta her, especially since you set me up that time, trying to do her a favour!

So why don't you do me a favour and please stop injectin' her into my life?! I fuckin' told her to her face how she did me wrong, so it's no mystery, and if she mans-up, then fine. The past, is the past. However, I cannot deal with arrogant people who do not take ownership of their missteps; and furthermore act as though there are absolutely no consequences to them.

The olive branch is there, she just needs to make the effort to touch it...

I know you mean well, but sometimes you are clueless. Unless she's inviting me out to lunch, please don't mention her name to me again!

I. am. dead. serious.,
S.

P.S. Not sure if this makes any difference, but I've spent a good chunk of the day watching Geordie Shore AND I'm getting my period!

2011-08-03T21:47:00.005-04:00

Yamanba =W.T.F.?
I googled "white lipstick" and this is what I got.

Is there any way for me to pull off white lipstick without looking like the above??

P.S. I know it may look like opaque cum, but where in the world do I buy WHITE LIPSTICK??!!

2011-07-29T01:37:00.009-04:00

Kelly Osbourne:

"Fuck you, you're fat too now!"
Is the lesson here to NOT call anyone "fat" 'cause it might come back to haunt you down the road? If that's the case, then my bad. I'm gonna be fat too. :(

Does the curse still apply if I call random strangers fat, like behind their back? I mean, I am human though, and if we were ever to cross paths, and I actually get to know someone, I will feel bad/guilty.

Btw, being on a Fashion-Police type show is my DREAM job. Fuck my script. Fuck a book. Fuck making a difference in the world.

2011-07-28T13:39:00.015-04:00

Fall Boot Trends - 2011

Over-the-Knee Boots
I'm always conflicted about this trend as I'm under 5' tall. A coupla years ago, I did own a pair of FLAT over-the-knee pirate boots, but a heel probably would've helped to lengthen my legs.

These laced-up, heeled Dior boots look KILLER...in a good way. What I do like about this particular pair is that they're jeweled-toned which is much better than black all over!

Mary Jane Boots

From Prada's F/W2011 RTW collection, this is more of a personal entry than a fashion trend as I doubt many people would be able to afford $2400US+ (snakeskin) or even a measly $1500US (suede).

I love the ultra-feminine style, colour combination, and use of different textures of leather! Actually, there's nothing that I dislike about them. ;) The only thing that I can think of is that they aren't as practical as they are fashionable, especially on wet days.

Click here to ogle at the various colour/leather combinations.

Riding Boots

a.k.a. Field Boots, they're traditionally flat, although some designers have decided to put a twist to the look - and torture for the feet of fashion slaves - by adding a high heel, most of the time stiletto. :( Ouch!

I'll trade in the stiletto heels for these other details: nice, metal harness around the ankles, partial lace-up, Spanish Cut, or a classy buckle around ankles or calves.

Aside from the rigid leather, Riding Boots look fairly easy to wear.

Booties
(Ignore the pump on the bottom right-hand side.)

Forgoing the lace-up stiletto booties, these sleek, lower-heeled booties are more my style! Think Acne, Alexander Wang, Jil Sander, or the chocolate brown ones with studs, zebra print ponyhair, or black pull-on ones, etc.

Simple, easy to walk in, and hopefully won't make my legs look frumpy-stumpy!

So ladies, before the first leaf hits the ground, can you please place all those UGGs, Hunters, faux fur moccasins in an incinerator! Notice how none of them made it onto my list or these...

Vibram Five Finger Boots

Nasty. Unsightly. Who is gonna buy this shit??

2011-07-27T19:24:00.015-04:00

11" width ORlength??
This has gotta be some kinda hyperbole, but I read this morning that the REAL reason for the J.Lo-Marc Anthony split was because Jenny couldn't take Skeletor's 11" thick penis. That's basically, the circumference of a baby doll's head!

If this rumour is true, then God sure has a cruel sense of humour! Look at this man's face. *shivers*

...then it sorta makes sense why J.Lo even got together with him in the first place! Unless he has some spectacular personality + a bottomless bank account. Former, probably not. Latter, not anything that matches Jenny's account!

...isn't 11" - either girth or length - sorta being GREEDY?? I mean gosh, initially it'll probably get you, but I'm almost positive that it wouldn't feel good.

...that thing should be displayed in a museum of "natural" science/a porn, not inside a lady! Owie!

Click here to read the story.

2011-07-21T16:35:00.006-04:00

Platinum Blonde's

"Not In Love"
Guess who's playing at Echo Beach (Ontario Place) this Saturday for FREE? Guess who's gonna try to make it there?

Speaking of Platinum Blonde + me, should I follow this DIY video for the occasion??

Answer: HELL-2-DA-NO!!!