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Bachelorette - Ep 8
Spain - Olame!

(bad joke, but hey, it was a bad episode.)

I know that I've said this before, but I'm really gonna keep this recap brief. I can do this 'cause the entire episode, save a coupla moments, was a snoozefest!

***spoiler, spoiler***
Like gf didn't even use up any of those Fantasy Suites, so no one got laid. Boooring.

Anyway, in this episode, Jill whisks the remaining bachelors to Spain. The first location is Madrid with...

Kiptyn, 31yo, Business Developer
Jill keeps on saying that he's perfect, blah, blah, blah, but honestly, there's just something missing. (A BIG minus is that he's not particularly funny!) He seems to be holding back.

Red flag alert: He says, "I think proposal seems far off at this point in time." Hel-lo douchebag, you're supposed to propose to her at the end of this show!!! Oh and they don't flamenco well together = bad in bed.

In addition to being unfunny and seemingly having commitment issues, I'm determined that he's the one with the erectile dysfunction.

Btw, what ever happened to that huge tease? Does anyone even have a problem performing in the bedroom? I think they alluded to this like 3 weeks ago, but never again!

Fantasy Suite: Jill says some shit about having real feelings for him and not wanting to get those feelings "mixed up". (Kiptyn looks almost relieved.) Lame, but respectable...I guess. Instead, they go back to her room to "cuddle". Honestly, wtf is the difference between shacking up in the Fantasy Suite Vs. her hotel room, the expectations?

Now, onto Savilla!

Reid, 30yo, Realtor
Like how cute is he? He's both J & my front-runner in this whole sham thing. He's soo cute that I've posted an alternate, more flattering photo!

Jill & him are also very cute together. Trying to get some food for a picnic, they discover that they're both horrible in Spanish.

Reid admits to Jill that he "moves slow in relationships". Out of the remaining bachelors, Reid seems the most sincere. I don't doubt anything that he says, he doesn't have any ulterior motives, and he seems to have real feelings for Jill. Plus, it seems as though he's really come "out of his shell" as his rship with Jill has developed.

It's a pleasure to see this unfold! They seem to have fun together. :)

Fantasy Suite: Reid leaves the decision up to Jill and she busts out the same shit about not wanting to ruin something "special". Hesitantly, Reid respects her decision, but says that her decision "sucks".

Ed, 29yo, Tech Consultant
First, is Ed actually an abbreviation for e.d....erectile dysfunction? YES, I'm obsessed with this.

Anyway, this guy is Snoozefest 2009. Jill & his conversation just goes in circles, her: "I'm soo glad that you came back", him: "I just couldn't stop thinking about you", blah, blah, blah. When he talks, I just feel as though I'm Charlie Brown and he's the faceless teacher.

I think that Jill & him just have physical chemistry and not much else. <-- GROSS!

Red flags: Girl, he dumped you once, he'll dump you again! He also doesn't maintain eye contact when he speaks = shifty.

Ed's known as the "workaholic" and I find people who fall into this category lack a real personality. For the most part, they just say the "right stuff", but that's lacklustre. And I swear that as soon as Jill's out of the picture, he's right back on his laptop, working from Spain!

Fantasy Suite: Same shit, Jill doesn't want to get confused. Ed is proactive by saying that he would like to spend the night with her. (<-- Ace move!) Jill tells him that she feels even more protective about herself - especially since he's left before. HOWEVER, she does want to do some catching up with him. They keep their clothes on.

Honestly, brushing out Stella's mats was waaay more intriguing than their date! *yawn*

Onto Barcelona...
Wes - 32yo, Musician
Quote of the fuckin' episode: I don't know much about the music scene in Barcelona, but I had a song in my second album that was actually #1 in Chihuahua, Mexico, so I'll feel at home, living around Spanish people.

WHAT. A. MORON.

Wes' lying is really wearing him down 'cause he's not as enthusiastic, his voice is monotone, & he's a broken record...saying what he thinks Jill wants to hear.

I'm quite impressed 'cause Jill catches onto this change and his distant body language. (She's no dumb-dumb.) There is no romance on this date.

Jill continues to grill him at dinner (painful!) and initially, he continues to deny rumours about having a gf. HOWEVER, after Jill brings up Laurel, he slips up by saying, "My girlfriend...I mean, ex-girlfriend". Jill rolls her eyes and sighs.

Fantasy Suite: Awkwardly, Wes reads the invitation. Without any shame, he says, "I think we should".

Without passing GO, Jill sends Wes away in a taxi. She says that instead of hating and wishing the worse for people like Wes, she just feels "sorry for them". All along, I thought she was ignoring the red flags, but she just needed to see for herself that Wes was bad news!

Rose Ceremony
A second quote of the episode from Wes: If it's me, you boys will know that I'll be back home...having lotsa sex!

He knows that he's soo going home and he doesn't care. Pan to Reid who looks completely horrified.

Rose Count: Ed (gross, does he have a big dick or something?), Reid (yeah! *shakes fists in the air*), & Kiptyn (duh).

Limo Ride: I think the chauffeur drove in circles, whilst refilling Wes' lowball with bourbon or something, 'cause he went on a drunken rant. He basically admits to be "the first guy ever in Bachelorette to make it to top 4...with a girlfriend". He should be soo proud. He also alludes to potentially gettin' some on his last night in Spain. *puke*

Things to look forward to: Maui...HAWAII! The finalé's in 3 weeks from now and it seems to be shrouded in even more dramz. ;)

Labels: Bachelorette 2009 Jillian Harris Spain overnight dates fantasy suite

posted by Stephania at 8:35 PM
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You're delusional, you're delusional

Aside from needing a remix, Mariah's "Obsessed" (So So Def? ;) is pretty much perfection. I'm sure it's already a hit amongst the gays.

The lyrics are pure high school, but whatevs, they're funny. Here are a coupla nuggets of gold: "You a mom and pop/I’m a corporation/I’m the press conference/you a conversation".

Hope there are more of these on Memoirs! Mimi's 12th studio album will be released at the end of August.

I'm also happy to report that Walter Afanasieff is reportedly one of the producers on the new album. Eeks!

Labels: Mariah Carey Obsessed Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel lyrics

posted by Stephania at 7:03 PM
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Fuck Jon & Kate!

I have a gf who's addicted to Jon & Kate Plus 8. And no, she's neither married, has multiples, or children for that matter. She just loves the show! I don't get it.

Anyway, I almost had to change my underwear when I saw a commercial for an upcoming TLC show, 650-lb Virgin. (Due to copyright blah, blah, blah, I couldn't post the actual vid - actually, I couldn't even find a promo!) Now TLC's speaking my language! The language of trash, that is.

For some reason, the niche combination of heavyweights + "virgin" = appeals to me. Lies. Actually fat people alone + virgin anything are both appealing on their own. And YES, I will sign up for your email reminder!

From what I gather, it's about David Smith who, at his heaviest, was 650-lbs. (I googled 650 lbs and some images that popped up were: a tiger, a baby hippo, cattle, & a black bear.) With the help of a trainer, he loses a bunch of weight, and now, he's trying to lose that darn virginity.

Not sure if this is a series, but my inner television producer would stretch this shit out...waaay out.

Join me in Dave's search for pussay! 650-lb Virgin airs this Sunday, July 12th @ 8pm.

Click here for a slideshow of his journey to weight loss.

P.S. If the above picture doesn't have "virgin" written all over it, then I don't personally know the definition of the word!

Labels: 650-lb lb pound Virgin David Smith TLC show

posted by Stephania at 5:48 PM
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Introducing...Mariel Haenn

Not sure why I'm soo shocked by this news, but...Rihanna has a stylist. (According to one website, Kanye + his whomeveryoucallit also share the the same stylist. Visually, that sorta makes sense, I suppose.) Her name is Mariel Haenn.

(Probably part of this shock is attributed to the fact that having a personal stylist, hairstylist, & makeup artist, at your beck 'n call, is soo far beyond my scope of reality!)

After all, aren't celebrities are just like us? They either have no or great style and if they have no style, they stop letting momz dress them OR eventually get influenced by their peer group and develop better style...riiight? IF EVEN KANYE HAS A STYLIST, I MUST BE WRONG!

Anyway, Haenn has been credited for turning Rihanna's girl next door, Bajan style, on its ear! (Google old pics of her and you'll see what I mean.) And can I say that the $$$ that Rihanna's spent on revamping herself has definitely paid off in spades??: She sets herself apart, she's recognised as an edgy style icon, perhaps some designers toss her some free stuff, they invite her to attend their shows, she's asked to be a CoverGirl, etc. etc. It never ends...unless her relationship with her stylist does! ha ha.

(Side note: When I find out that a celebrity, who's known for their unique fashion sense, has a stylist, it's always a personal disappointment. It's sorta form of plagiarism. I mean aren't you constantly insecure 'cause one day, you might get into some fight with your stylist, they blab all your secrets in some tell-all, & you go back to wearing shit clothes??!!)

In case you're feeling particularly shitty about your appearance, whether it be body image or lack of style, keep in mind all the resources that celebs have at their disposal in order for them to maintain their looks. They're basically walking billboards!

Secondly, although money can buy you a stylist, it doesn't mean that you have class.

And lastly, it doesn't take a lot of money in order to look good. By far, I believe that this is a HUGE misconception. In fact, all the people who I personally know with great personal style come from very little. For these "Have Nots", fashion is a creative outlet to show the "Haves" that they're just as good - if not better, cooler.

The "Have Nots" are usually bolder, willing to take more risks (with their looks); while the "Haves" play it safe because they're usually living life according to someone else's standards. That's just my opinion.

This ended in a socio-economic rant, but all I really wanted to do was to recognise Mariel Haenn. So here she is, sans clients, in a pic that I ripped off her Facebook. Hope she doesn't mind.

[insert a synonym for 'props' or 'kudos' 'cause those words make me cringe!]

Labels: Rihanna stylist Mariel Haenn

posted by Stephania at 2:57 PM
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Saturday, July 04, 2009

Current Obsession: Chanel Sunglasses

5113 - black frames with white camellia flower appliqués. Potentially matronly. Flowers can fall off, colour can also fade.
5076-H - black frames with mother of pearl Chanel logo. Too flashy. I don't like huge logos. MOP logo has also been known to fall off.
5138 - black frames with CHANEL in multi-colours. As seen on Lily Allen.

I looove sunglasses, but surprisingly I do not own a pair of black ones. (Okay, I do have a pair of black, vintage no-names that I keep in my car, but they're purely for function, plus they're all scratched up!) I've come to the conclusion that having lotsa stuff, does not hafta include basics.

Having tried on most of the big designer frames, both eye/sunglasses, I'd hafta say that I'm partial to Chanel. I just feel as though they fit my face well and I like their selection.

So when I decided to invest in a pair of black sunglasses, I looked to Chanel...on various websites. (As a rule, I don't go cheap in terms of clothes, shoes, & accessories! I will, however, go vintage.) I narrowed my search down to the 3 models above. And finally, I went with the 5138s - they're fun, I like colours.

(I have yet to receive them, but I'm soo excited to see untouched, Italian acetate AND what they'll look like on! They best be authentic. I don't do fake!)

Anyway, while I was at the mall today - don't ask - I thought that I'd track down a pair to try on prior to receiving my own. I went to a newly opened, swanky optical + Sunglass Hut.

After doing a quick scan, I asked the friendly salesman at the optical if they carried the brand. He said that they didn't and weren't sure if they were going to in the future. According to him, in order to sell Chanel frames, you hafta send in an application and it has to be approved by the design house.

At Sunglass Hut - the damn Sunglass Hut, people! - it was the same story. No Chanel, but plenty of everything else, especially Ray Bans. Gawd those things are EVERYWHERE!

After my search proved fruitless, I began to think that it wasn't such a good move on Chanel's part to limit their distribution. I mean don't you just want to crank out your product and get it into as many stores as possible?

Later on, I had to go to my usual optical place - owned by a neighbour. (I had purchased my Chanel eyeglass frames there a coupla years ago, but those were the only and last pair. Plus, they told me that they weren't going to get anymore.) So naturally, I inquired about Chanel and their exclusivity.

The response was the same as the first optical, although slightly more detailed: Basically, each retailer has to apply for the rights and Chanel denies/accepts the applications. HOWEVER, if there are already a certain number of retailers who already sell Chanel, newer applicants in the same area will be denied. AND they're picky about the retailers, they want boutique-y type places to peddle their goods.

For some reason, hearing the same thing the second time 'round, changed my mind 'cause it just made me want the sunglasses even MORE! In addition, the exclusivity seemed to have justified my purchase in some way...as though I was gettin' some kinda deal 'cause the item wasn't sold just anywhere.

I was pretty satisfied about my purchase 'til I overlooked the below:
5018 - half-tints as seen on the Olsen twins, Nicole Richie, & Pharrell (??). Instead of being straight, the arms on these sunglasses are sorta 'wave' shape. Really cool & limited!

A37353 - a.k.a. Chanel wayfarers, as seen on Rachel Bilson, Lily Allen, & Kirsten Dunst. The epitome of this hype machine. You will not find these babies anywhere!

According to several forums, these sunglasses were never made for the 'general public'. Instead they were given to celebrities...probably for free. (As if they need more free stuff!) Apparently, they were sold in some magenta colour for $500+, but aren't currently available.

Labels: Chanel sunglasses 5113 5076H 5076 5138 5018 half-tint A37353

posted by Stephania at 7:52 PM
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Tim Hortons Iced...Ice

Dear Tim Hortons,*

Today, I purchased a medium, iced coffee. While drinking it, I noticed that at least 3/4 of the cup was filled with ice. The ice was literally an inch from the top brim!

Immediately, I went back to where I purchased the drink to complain. The cashier simply dismissed my comment by saying that next time I should remember to ask them for "less ice".

I realise that the drink is less than $2, but I can't help but feel ripped off! I ordered a medium because I wanted more of the drink - not more ice.

If paying for a cup filled with frozen water wasn't bad enough, I couldn't believe the response, or lack thereof, that I received from the cashier.

Initially, I was headed to McDonald's for the same product. I decided against that since Tim Hortons is a Canadian company. However, after this incident, I'll have to rethink where my next cup of iced coffee will be coming from!

If a customer takes the time to bring issues up to your staff, certainly it can be handled better, no?

Thank you for your attention.

Sincerely,


Stephania.

* actual copy of complaint letter that I sent the company.

Labels: Tim Hortons iced coffee complaint

posted by Stephania at 7:02 PM
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Like...finally
If I calculate how behind Canada is on the trendmill, based on how long it took to get Toy Watches here, in wide distribution, I'd say that we're like 2 years behind!!!

Two years ago, Holt Renfrew (*puke*) was the only retail store that carried them. And lemme tell you, the selection was shit!

In addition to le crap selection, you hafta deal with bitchy salesgirls who stare you up 'n down, seeing if any of your clothes are current season, and if so, what designers you're wearing.

(Cue scene from Pretty Woman where the salesgirl doesn't allow Julia Roberts to shop.)

AND, if crap selection + bitchy salesgirls = not enough of a deterrent, you also hafta deal with their ridic prices. Even if I used a $100 bill to blow my nose, I'd still think that this place was a gyp! It really irks me that they basically have no competition. Grrr...

Since that was the scene back then, I decided to get mine on eBay. (More selection + no saleswhores + fairly cheap = happy Stephania.) Subsequently, I got another one since my mom dug mine so much.

Not sure when this happened, but recently, Toy Watch launched a Canadian website. It features all TW's collections AND non-HR retailers...in Canada. :) Yeah, healthy competition! However, if the TW set-up is anything like the Ipanema sandals one, prices will probably be the same no matter what store you go to.

I'm very curious as to what the actual in-store selection will be like. Click here for a list of Canadian retailers.

P.S. I'm saying HELL 2 DA NO on the Tattoo + Jelly + Skull collections. Tacksville!

Labels: Toy Watch Canada Canadian website retailers

posted by Stephania at 1:26 AM
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Thursday, July 02, 2009

What about Bubbles??!!

I was watching Anderson Cooper last night when he sunk his hooks on me with, "Where's Bubbles now?".

Naive li'l ol' me just kept watching and watching and the minutes ticked away, but nadda.

Thankfully, Dlisted posted the update clip here.

Now that I know that he's alive + well, I can go on with the rest of my day!

Labels: Bubbles chimpanzee chimp Michael Jackson's pet update

posted by Stephania at 2:24 PM
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Happy Immigrant Day!
(There's a waaay better clip here, that captures the true spirit of the event, but I couldn't post it. The magic words contained within are "large dollops of frustration".)

In true daughter of immigrants style, I did my parents proud by taking advantage of Mandarin's free buffet yesterday!

(Actually, my mom declined to go 'cause she said that it would be a waste of her time, but later on, I found out she just slept + cleaned.)

The plan was to go to a non-ghetto location, so places like Brampton, Rexdale, & Scarlem were out of the question. I wanted to see action, but I'm not willing to get shot or stabbed for my sense of adventure! I did bring my camera, but again, a phone cam w/ video capability would've been better. <-- How many times have I said this, yet I still have the same damn phone??

After finding her proof of citizenship, K & I settled on the location in Soccer Mom Town - not the one captured in the above footage. Hopefully this meant a shorter line and no weapons.

Aside from eating half a sandwich, shortly after I woke up, and wearing a moisturiser with SPF 15, I was ill prepared. I forgot sunscreen, folding chairs, & snacks. In addition to the free buffet, Mandarin staff provided the crowds with free bottles of water.

We arrived just before 12:30pm - the free buffet started @ noon - and we didn't get in 'til about 5:30pm.

In that span of time, I witnessed 2 shouting matches. The cops were called over to escort some punks who tried to jump in line with their friends. Actually, the earlier incident also involved the same group of kids.

First fight: Two groups ahead of us was a big Somali family. As the punks inched ahead of us, then nearing the Somalis, one of the matriarchs stared at me with the "Where did these people come from?" I shrugged and gave her a "Not with me" look.

Then, one of the punks (Wigger, jeans hung low, smoking) shouted, "What the fuck are you looking at?" to the Somali Lady*. (Props to the Wigger 'cause there's NO WAY IN HELL I'd take on people who've gone through genocide/lived in a friggin' refugee camp!!!) Contrary to what I thought her response would be, she did NOT back down. She just whipped back, "I was just wondering where you came from because you were behind these people!" (K & I) There was this back 'n forth with the Somali children even jumping in, cussing, racial remarks thrown...it was pretty much a beautiful example of humanity...on Canada's Day.

Pure awesomeness. Sorta like a portable tv.

(At one point, some Random Whitey got in between the 2 rabid parties in a "C'mon, it's Canada's Day" way. I turned towards K and remarked that that's how people get stabbed...by playing the Good Samaritan. Don't get me wrong, Asians are stabbable too, but we just don't lay our lives on the lines for strangers.)

Throughout the day, Mandarin staff patrolled the line, making chit chat, explaining the rules, i.e. that proof of ID was going to be checked at the door, handing out water, etc. What I didn't know was that 1 particular staff member was memorising faces! (Either that, or line jumpers would get ratted on to her.) Several times I heard her approach groups and say, "I didn't see you in line before, I'm going to have to ask you to leave...or I'll call the cops!"

Directly in front of me was an immigrant family from China. Closer to the front of the doors, in the home stretch, probably 5-6 hours after my last meal, someone in front of her joined the line. Almost immediately, she turned to K & I with pleading eyes. Both of us told the Chinese Woman that the onus was on her/her husband to say something.

(For some reason, it doesn't matter where I go or who I'm with, people ALWAYS stare at me...trying to rope me into their shiznit.)

As long as it involves me directly, I'm down with a good fight. HOWEVER, we're nearing the front, lady and I'm HANGRY!

* When I saw her in the buffet, I wanted to pat her on the back, congratulating her for the good job, but I was too preoccupied with snatching the crab legs...and macaroons! I love macaroons.

Labels: free Mandarin buffet on Canada's Day fights Erin Mills

posted by Stephania at 12:26 PM
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Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Happy Canada Day!

I was trying to find a Canadian image to accompany this wish. Instead, I found a very American photo, tinged with some Canadiana - very little, in fact. (These hos aren't Canadian. They're from Woodbridge and this pic was taken in Cancun.) But hey, the sentiment is there...Happy Canada Day!

For most people, today's a vacay. Most retail stores are closed. I heard that some on Yonge St. will remain open. For others, they'll get a long weekend, starting Friday. Having said all that, most festivities in Toronto are canned due to the impending garbage strike. <-- My main reason why I've stayed away from downtown.

As for me, I'm on permanent vacation! ;) I might do the Mandarin thing, if my buddy K finds her citizenship. Ha ha, fob.

Enjoy your BBQ or whatever else it is that you people!

Labels: Canada Day 2009

posted by Stephania at 10:44 AM
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