Rage Against Suburban Zombie-ism
Monday, November 24, 2014

90 Day Fiancé, A Psychoanalysis
(Season 2)

Winter is my time to hibernate and one of the few shows that I actually pay attention to is TLC's 90 Day Fiancé.

Since I haven't been writing lately, I felt compelled to psychoanalyse the couples from Season 2 and give my predictions as to whether or not they'll survive... 

Daya, 29 (Phillipines) & Brett 31 (somewhere in WA)

Will they make it?  Sure, why not.  Brett has no spine and seems to need a strong woman in his life.

Struggle:  Brett's bratty daughter, Cassidy.  She's like 7yo or something and he has her for the Summer, making Daya an "insta-mom".  (If either Brett or Daya mouths that term again, I'll scream!)  Brett doesn't know how to give his daughter boundaries or say "no", so she's sorta spoiled and does not respect Daya or even Brett for that matter.

Yamir, 28 (Nicaragua) & Chelsea, 25 (Galesburg, IL??)

Will they make it?  Yes, I think so.  This couple is soo sweet.

Struggle:  Back in his home country, Yamir was a huge pop star and Chelsea took him away from all that to live in some smalltown outside of Chicago, IL.  Yamir is still determined to make it in the music biz, in the US, but he was basically told that he has to move to Chicago in order to succeed.  After being away from home for so long, will Chelsea move away from home yet again to help Yamir achieve his dream??

Mohamed, 26 (Tunisia) & Danielle, 41 (Norwalk, OH)

Will they survive?  HELL NO.  That simple.  First, there's a huge age gap.  And second, Danielle is an emotional wreck.  There is also a huge cultural difference with Mohamed being Muslim and Danielle's family seem to be rednecks who don't get why he doesn't eat piggy. 

Struggle:  The couple wasn't on last night's episode, but in the preview, Mohamed basically founds out that Danielle is flat-ass broke.  (Danielle has hidden this from Mohamed because she was afraid that he'd leave her as soon as he found out.)  Mohamed seems like a sweet guy who has come to the US for the right reasons, but c'mon!  He didn't leave North Africa to be broke in the States.

Cassia, 23 (Brazil) & Jason, 38 (Spring Hill, FL)

Will they survive?  Questionable.  Cassia is young and quite tempermental.  And although Jason is 38, he seems to be a manchild.

Struggle:  Cassia expected Spring Hill to be a bigger, more happenin' city, but in reality, it's a small town consisting of primarily retirees.  She also likes to wear g-string bikinis while Jason wants her to cover-up and be more conservative.  I think she also thought Jason was more established than he really is.  He sells stuff on eBay and he still lives at home with his gay dad.

Justin, 34 (San Diego, CA) & Evelin, 29 (Colombia)

Will they survive?  Depends on Evelin can tolerate Justin 'cause I think he's a total douchebag, and a bit of a chauvinist.

Struggle:  Justin never told any of his friends or family that he was engaged to Evelin and then he gets offended when they're shocked.  Now Justin just wants to elope, causing even more of a rift in his family.  Evelin, on the other hand, is all about family, but it seems like she's more submissive, letting Justin call the shots!

Danny, 23 (Norristown, PA) & Amy, 21 (South Africa)

Will they survive?  They're both very young, but I hope so.

Struggle:  They're both virgins, choosing to remain celibate until the day of their wedding night.  (Ladies, gents, we all know this isn't an idea sitch, but I guess "ignorance is bliss"/"what you don't know, won't hurt you".)  Danny is sorta naive and never really thought of how Amy would spend her days while he works at his family's construction business all day long.  And despite being religious, Danny's dad is apparently racist and may potentially have a problem with their "interracial relationship".  I can't believe this is still an issue...anywhere! 

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posted by Stephania at 9:02 pm
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Friday, November 07, 2014

I'm young-ish and certainly able, but dang some of these locales - that aren't even that far - are $$$!

How much money does it cost to not hafta deal with French Canadian fratboys (just like American Spring Breakers) or drunkie Russians???  I need to find that utopia!

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posted by Stephania at 12:23 am
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Saturday, October 18, 2014

Guess what I'll be watching
this weekend??

I dunno why, but I always get sucked into watching these Nicholas Sparks adaptation. Although I must say that I did NOT watch that Zac Efron one, The Lucky One.

I do not read, so obviously Sparks isn't on my Kobo. I don't even own one of those things.

These movies always seem to include someone dying of cancer, a guy from the wrong side of the tracks/a rich girl, a retelling of Romeo & Juliet, but I buy a ticket anyway.

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posted by Stephania at 1:10 pm
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Friday, October 17, 2014

Spirit of the West's
"Home for a Rest"

(I had to Google the name of this gross song!) 

I know that I'm at the WRONG event/bar/city when this track plays.  Oh how it alienates me.

It's weird.  I'm Chinese-Canadian, but don't really feel like either ethnicity/culture.  I'm an in-betweener/other, but I've also realised that I have no White friends. That's weird, right?

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posted by Stephania at 12:26 am
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Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Wanna smell
like me?

Well, you can't 'cause you don't have the same body chemistry! ;)

I'm kiddin', but I had a whiff of Jazz Club, a male fragrance from Maison Martin Margiela and I'd definitely wear this one.  It reminds me of another retro male perfume...but I can't put my finger on it, not Drakkar.

Tres sexy!

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posted by Stephania at 8:08 pm
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99
Problems

...and this ain't 1!

Possible responses:

1.  Give them some credit, bud, at least they're being safe!  Doesn't that count for anything?

2.  These kids all have maids back in HK who'll wash the dishes, clean condoms, and cook!

3.  "Staying up late drinking", uh...yeah, it's called university.

4.  Wash dishes when they know the maid is coming, ha!

5.  As for the really expensive dining room table, wrap that shit up if you don't want it disturbed/ruined.

6.  Check on them??  Not in my j.d., pal!

7.  My little darlings have grown up.

8.  Welcome to the world of landlordhood, where your only concerns should be 1) whether or not your house is still standing and 2) getting paid...preferably on-time.

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posted by Stephania at 3:29 pm
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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Being a doctor's wife ain't easy.

The dream of all Asian women - or at least their parents' - is to marry a doctor.  (Or if they come from a more progressive, educated family, the women can become doctors themselves.)  So what happens when that "dream" is achieved?

Is it pure wedded bliss...while eating bonbons and sitting on a couch while watching eps of General Hospital?  Apparently not, as I recently got just a glimpse as to what life's actually like for those dr's wives who have kids and no nanny.

(Aside:  I have not seen their house, so perhaps a luxe life makes up for the hardships?)

Basically, this wife, a self-proclaimed Type A personality, sounded more like a manager.  All her children are heavily involved in dance, hockey, whatever, so she does spend a lot of time scheduling, shuffling the children from school - activity - back home, etc.  She has 3 children under the age of 11-12.

Whenever I see her, she looks perfect.  Her hair is perfect, her outfit is suitable for the occasion - but I did spot her white, Chanel J12 watch the last time I saw her, and she is fit.  No flab anywhere.  She must work out.  She is friendly yet none of her husband's family speak to her.

Her children are well-behaved.  I can have a proper conversation with her eldest, a son, without baby-talking or dumbing-down my conversation.  He can articulate about their recent vacation in Italy.  It is obvious that him and the other children attend private school.

Before it takes me another week+ to finish this thought, when it boils down to it, it sounded like a j-o-b, job a la managerial vein.

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posted by Stephania at 12:47 am
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Thursday, September 11, 2014

Just
NO.

Online Dating Rituals of the American Male is just completely vom worthy...yet I'm still watching it.

The 2 dudes that they're featuring tonight are both rich, but no amount of $$$ would help me put up with either of these douches for more than just a dinner date.  And it better be an expensive meal either, none of that cheap shit either!

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posted by Stephania at 10:51 pm
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